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There is no such thing as unconditional love. There are always conditions, doesn't meant that they are wrong or right they just are.

Jolanta 9 Nov 12
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Blanket statement. Love is a personal feeling. I have been protecting a domestic violence victim for well over twelve months. Rescuing her often, providing refuge and giving other support. Unintentionally we became close. She has my unconditional love and I fear she is about to dump me but she will still have my love.

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I agree.

Love without conditions has no value because it has nothing to do with who are and everything to do with the person who says they 'love' you. So they don't actually love the person, they love the connection.

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Unconditional is a relative term.

I love my stepson like my own son, but he's only welcome in our home so long as he treats his mother with appropriate respect.

I would do anything for my wife, but if she figured out some way to make my life miserable then there would come a time when I would NOT do anything for her.

Love can be disappointed. And it has to respond appropriately to legitimate betrayal, or the relationship becomes dysfunctional if not abusive.

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I disagree. I don't think there is anything one of my kids or grandkids could do that would cause me to not love them. I might be disappointed, or maybe even appalled if they did something truly horrible; but, I think that foundation of love would remain.

If that is what is meant by unconditional love, then sure. There is some shard of love still in my heart for my first wife, but she was abusive and dangerous and I had to leave her over 25 years ago and I haven't thought about her on a daily basis in all those years. I was too busy raising our children as a single parent and getting on with life, and I eventually remarried, whereas she had zero interest in our children.

What some people mean by unconditional love is "maintaining the illusion of perfect love forever" where it doesn't exist. That way lies madness. I think it's also a little different with [grand]children but even there, I'll bet your children aren't usually bad actors or particularly lacking in character and empathy. You can't imagine anything they could do to dim the embers of your love, but that's because they haven't tested the limits of your imagination. My current wife's daughter has said enough genuinely cruel things to her over the years that my wife has become pretty indifferent, and believe me, that took a LOT of especially consistent, wanton, shitty, selfish behavior to make happen.

@mordant: With kids and grand kids I think that foundation of love would remain--no matter what. Even I came to hate what they became or something they did. Even if it reached some situation where there was no further contact with them.

Now, as far as with a partner, in a romantic relationship, I don't think there is unconditional love. Perhaps unconditional infatuation, or attraction--but not what I consider to be love.

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I disagree a love between a parent and an infant is unconditional. It was for me at least.

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I think there is such a thing, but unconditional love does not require us to tolerate bad behavior. Love does not equal permissiveness.

skado Level 9 Nov 12, 2019
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To the extent that love is a settled, decisive posture of favor rather than an ephemeral emotion, I think there would be cases out there where for whatever reason a person would be immovable in their "love" no matter what the target did to disappoint it. But it's true that the vast majority of relationships are technically conditional in some way, if only that death will someday cause them to end. And things far short of that can change a person enough to disrupt the equilibrium in which love originally grew. I think it's healthy to be committed and tolerant, but also realistic.

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Depends on the context.

I agree that most times there are always conditions. But there are some cases of unconditional love.

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