Actually, fairness in scheduling, which was a natural result of our genuine concern for each other, similar degree of involvement in work and school, and our each having lived independently where we did it all, was a huge part of our marriage working as well as it did. Household running fell to both of us, equally.

The idea that a woman should do all of the housework, even when she does similar income generating work (and possibly most of thr childcare) was largely rooted in the christianity my family had embraced, you know, woman created from and for man as a "help meet". This was yet another reason I thought religion was/is BS. Such a claim seems awfully self serving for the men who wrote the bible.

I realize that unfair effort distribution can go the other direction, as well. In my family, the god-ordained "woman's place" was largely underpining it, though.