I have had to find therapists for my son and for my stepson and it seems obligatory that you have to go through a half dozen to have even a fighting chance to find a good one.

The first one we tried for our stepson instantly and casually diagnosed him with "schizophrenic prodrome", a fancy way of saying that he was deteriorating mentally in a way that was destined to end in schizophrenia. He had just had a nervous breakdown, was in his senior year in high school, and definitely did not need to hear this. We fired him immediately, not least because my stepson had NONE of the symptoms (e.g., delusions, hallucinations, bizarre behaviors). That was nearly a decade ago and he is not schizophrenic, he's a high functioning autistic with obsessive tendencies. He finished college, though it took him 7 years and a couple of withdrawals to pull it off. Got an A average, though. Schizophrenic prodrome, indeed!

The second to the last therapist, we found, had been in trouble with the law in another city, accused of giving his ex-wife a sedative that ended up killing her. So he got the boot also. The one before that was literally going senile.

We seem to have a pretty good one now, one who is willing to listen to the patient and not take it personally or whine about "non-compliance" if the patient responds poorly to prescribed meds, and in fact was willing to wean him off and try a different therapeutic approach. He also believes in therapy, provided the patient wants it and is stabilized with meds if necessary.

Now we just want to get what benefit we can from this guy's expertise before he retires on us [sigh].

I think you nailed it.

***Why is it hard to find therapists who actually care about you and aren't rude or judgmental?

Some people say it's for the money. That is a good point but also odd. Why would you go to school for 10 years, to get a career where you're dealing with people's problems day in and day out, just for the money?***

Its not for the money. It is exactly because people who are rude and judgemental, like being rude and judgemental. Its you who has your priorities wrong, at least in their eyes. If you had any ability to manage your own life, you wouldnt need therapy. In their minds they are smarter and better educated than you are, and its not their fault you don't understand that fact, and react with hostility. They get to work in a career that they enjoy, helping the little people.

Is every auto mechanic "great"? And on every model of car? How about electricians, HVAC people, concrete pourers, etc etc?. Every trade/profession has practitioners all over that Bell Curve. And some may be Magic fixing your Kia, but suck working on Fords....why would the helping professions be any different? If you feel uncomfortable, or that you lack support from one of them, you "vote with your feet" just like you do when your washing machine still doesn't wash after 3 visits.

You have to realize folks with psychological defects are drawn to the field.

Some are drawn because of truly wanting to help people - those are the folks you hope to find. Those others are a real tragedy for the field.

You'll hear about some Psychiatrist who ends up losing their license in spectacular fashion and realize "Oh - they were really screwed up to begin with".

There used to be a system of checks and balances. Therapists and Psychiatrists saw their own therapists and Psychiatrists... now? I'm not so sure that the mentoring system is in place. And even if it is - do they get more than 15 minutes of time?

I've had trouble finding competent providers as well and find it very frustrating. I hate to have to shop around.

I found it was better for my mental health to stop going to the clinic. Bunch of inconsiderate assholes.

The system is broken there is no doubt about that. It has gotten worse in the last 3 years or so and needs to be changed with a passion.