I'm trying not to have an Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. My roommate got diagnosed with cancer, we find out this week if it's spread (and yes I live with roommates, it was the best option for me after I sold my house, while finishing school, plus better for my dog). Additionally my son is getting evicted this Thursday from the apartment I helped him get into after he made some decisions that made it no longer an option for him to live with me. His father dropped off the planet after our divorce so I'm flying solo on figuring out next steps with my son although I do pay a therapist to help me brain storm on how to help my son without enabling him but I would pay good money, all I have, just to have someone tell me what to do to save my son and have it work like some magical prayer that actually reached the gods that don't exist. Today I am focusing only on what needs to be done today, hour by hour, and that helps me not be overwhelmed. What do you y'all do when the god bastard gives you more pie than you want or need?
Your situation resonates with me because just today I sent the grown man child of mine (who doesn't "live" with me, yet never seems to leave) packing. The circumstances and consequences are huge in this situation. It all falls in my lap. I have so much more pie then I want or need. My No good terrible day has been going on for months. Husband died of cancer last year. Hang on? At least your dog loves you.
There is no perfect answer, many imperfect ones. He is your son, you love him more than anything, but he is his own person. You are not responsible for his choices, he is. Sad re your room mate, I know many survivors, it is better to have it found than not perhaps.
Re your son, you are responsible for you, you have a right to be happy. Hopefully he will make a decision to change his situation. I am a nasty mean mongrel of a single dad. I have had many, almost 2 dozen kids live with me over the past 15-20 years. I have sadly had to turn quite a few away, and they were kids I really liked but I have very strict rules, and my rules will NOT be broken. There is no punishment for breaking the rules, because they will NOT be broken.
The kids (now adults) used me as their excuse not to succumb to peer pressure. Sorry, I can not think of anything to help your son until he wants to change. When he does, it becomes possible. Feel free to discuss on this or message me anytime, if you find you have to make tough decisions and it makes you feel less than great. After chatting to me you will probably think you are not being tough at all. My foster son moved out 6 years ago because he didn't like my tough stand on hugeine and school attendance. He rings me a few times a week and stays here one week a month at least. Neither of us would back down.
You need to break it all down. Been there overwhelmed. I'm a Cancer Survivor -we have a Cancer support group if you have questions/want to vent.
I have thrown my daughter out twice inthe last 5 years. She and her bf were allowed to move back because his mother moved in to support me with her bf. They have become good friends and extended family. She dropped out of High School her senior year, lost her license and works only 10 hrs a week.
Life give those tough breaks. Be Strong, Supportive and Enjoy your stay here while it last. Time to create Happy Memories to Cherrish. Your son need to grow and stop taking down others with him, but you already know that. Like you said... everything is tougher when is dealt hour by hour. Be Strong! A lot of sour in your plate at once. Minute by minute if you have to. I wish you the best of fortune.