Why don't you ask your friends for this feedback instead? They know you more intimately than you can describe and your description is limited by your insight into yourself and we are all limited in that area.

@Cyklone I don't have any friends who are on dating sites. They wouldn't know. They're contaminated with prior knowledge.

@BitFlipper bugger! There are sites around which give instruction on how to write a good profile. Or you could do like me and write what I feel and then don't give a flying f##k about likes and responses.

@Cyklone I put a lot of thought into mine, and I'm actually a good writer. I'm not good at deception, and I think that's what's missing.

@BitFlipper I don't think that deception is a good way to start any relationship, but I notice that you point out your flaws in your profile whereas most people emphasise their assets.

@Cyklone it would be deceptive to invent assets

@BitFlipper perhaps you misunderstood me as I didn't suggest that you invent assets. It's just that I'm sure there are a lot of nice things about you that you could talk about that don't include "I just live with my cats" or qualifiers such as "but I'm not sophisticated socially". I 'm not suggesting you lie or exaggerate but if you can't be and see more positive about yourself then how are others likely to see the nicer things about you?

@Cyklone I get what you mean. But I think some embellishment would be necessary.

I didn't list the exclusion criteria which would be things like a history of violence or drug abuse, but I find it interesting when people judge others by their own limitations. So revealing.
I avoid making the assumption that because I can't then other's can't but I do assume that if I can then others are capable. We all make more complex assessments than these on a daily basis: the pragmatics of speech, the intracacies of movement, even the change in pupil size and who hasn't stopped and thought about what makes another person attractive to us? This is just nothing more than organising our assessment in order to gain some control over our feelings. Otherwise we become victim to our emotions, always attracted to the violent male or the shallow woman etc.

@Cyklone nice tapdance/self justification, but I still think you're wrong. Why? Because when my partner and I met we both had our little lists of must have/have not's and tossed them out the window. Had either of us stuck to what we thought we wanted, after both of us had honed our lists over decades, neither one of us would be in the relationship - we just bought a house, btw, and are currently moving into it - that we're in now.

So you keep on pushing your advise - btw, are you single? - and I'll keep on pushing mine.

I can prove my way works. You?

@1of5 I'm a mental health professional regularly working with survivors of bad relationships. Teaching people to be more discerning in their relationships is a part of helping them break the cycle, so yes I can show that what I say works. Again though you are making the error of thinking that what is true for you is true for all. Congratulations on having a successful relationship but it was using this technique which allowed me to break away from destructive relationships and form more rewarding ones. Interesting that you ask if I'm single. I'm not into ad hominem argument, but it is a non sequitor to conclude that my current relationship status, which you can see from my profile, reflects my knowledge of relationships, especially when you don't know the circumstances of that occuring. Circumstances that I have no interest in sharing on an open forum.

Good list. I hope you find her and I know a few women like that, just nowhere near you.

And I think that's a great start but I'm more specific, looking for things like:honesty integrity, loving, caring,loyalty, openness, intelligent, sensuality, sensitivity positiveness and strength. And although you might say that those things go without saying, I've found that if you don't look you can easily overlook. And then ask, how do I know if those things are there? What will I see in this person which will tell me they exist because many people are capable are putting up a front for months? One useful characteristic of people is that they normally mix with people of similar character, so if you don't like his/her friends you are probably missing something.

@Cyklone

Every man says he's honest and a "good guy." It takes time to evaluate a person's character.

Listing screening criteria is a waste of time. Most men just look at my photos and don't read my profile.

"I love hiking!" men say on the phone. Turns out they haven't hiked since their 20s or in the Army at age 18.

With online dating, 80% of people post old photos and lie about their age, weight, fitness, height (short guys), profession, marital status, etc.

I feel surprised when a man looks like his photos.

@LiterateHiker then I hope you'd be pleasantly surprised by my photo; I took it for this site. The last time I we t hiking was in Sept last year when I started on a 10 day hike and had to turn back on the second day because I tore a muscle in my calf. Getting older can be a bitch sometimes. I like long distance hiking where I am completely self reliant. And I wholeheartedly agree that it takes time to evaluate a person's character but it can be a bit easier and faster to eliminate the non-starters if we do that in a structured way