First day of home school.
There isn't enough coffee in the world for this.
Learn some good knots, hang rope from the ceiling, get Ritalin or other similar drug that focuses the mind. Tie the kids so they are suspended over the books or screen. Force them to take the Ritalin (or bribe, important part is to get it in them so they focus). Monitor them until the drugs kick in and they are focused on what is in front of them. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done.