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Follow up to "A Major Milestone" post. I had a first date today with a guy I met through a dating app. The first thing he said to me was, "you look better than your picture on the website.". (Which was a little disappointing because I chose that picture because I thought it was a decent image of me.". THEN he said, "Yeah, you look a lot better than your picture. I wouldn't mind being seen with you.". I think he thought he was giving me a compliment, but I feel like a carpet remnant. "Well, you look better than you did in the ad, so I'll put you down in the mudroom and walk all over you.".
Am I over-reacting? I might see him again, but am not sure. OH -- he used his opportunity for a hug to cop a feel. Not very classy.

citronella 7 Apr 8
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61 comments (26 - 50)

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3

Uhhhh, nope. Don't see him again. Based on how he made you feel. Gross.

Helga Level 4 Apr 8, 2018
3

Go with your gut feeling. It is always right.Do you think he is worth the effort to teach him some class?

and do you think that can be taught?

@btroje wirh a lot of strong will and patience and maybe a nice whip.

Oh no....no fixing or teaching please. We as women love to do that.

If I want to train something, I'll get a dog. At least with that, I could win some ribbons and maybe get a dog food endorsement that would bring in a little money. I don't think this guy represents a positive cash flow.

@citronella that is a wise answer.

3

I'd forget about him-you can do better.

3

Oh hell no! I would be all, "See ya!"

2

Um run ...

2

For him to say that you looked better than your profile is a compliment but it is also a line that many men say for the reason that they think that the woman will be impressed and also shows that the man is short of ideas on as to how to say hello to a woman and for him to cop a feel on the first meeting is a bit of a no no unless of course you did or said something that he thought was open season for a bit of touchy feely.This guy in my book sounfs like a bit of a creep but it is of course your decision if you wish to see him again .

2

Ahhhh.Not not over reacting in the least lil' bit..what an asshole..fergit that dolt..

2

I guess I'm in the minority, but if you thought you looked good in the picture, and he must have too if he agreed to meet, then I don't see how him saying you look better than that is a bad thing.

The "I wouldn't mind being seen with you" came off as a bad line/his bad attempt at humor, but on first read I didn't see it as a negative.

Copping a feel, however, is pretty shitty. Unless he was a gentleman and you enjoyed the rest of the date I'd say drop him.

2

Dump him

ebdb Level 7 Apr 8, 2018
2

Whew...I'm embarrassed to be a guy.

2

textbook first line

2

I am casting my vote with the overwhelming majority. Be sure, do not see him again.

I am not here for dating, but from what I've observed the biggest drawback is geography. This feels like a great place to meet someone special. I hope it works for you.

2

His comment may have been a compliment gone wrong but coping a feel is disrespectful. If you are really considering seeing again, first tell him how he made you feel. See how he reacts.

2

You're not over-reacting. He spoke like a heel and acted like a heel. But, that is my reaction to the negatives. Were there any positives?

1

Update to the update: I considered everyone's input (thank you all VERY MUCH, btw), added in my own "No, I don't THINK so," and told him I was moving on. He did ask why, I told him, and then we politely wished each other good luck in the search, and that was that. Two-minute phone call, tops. Too bad his brain wasn't as nice as his face was. Oh well. Time to move on.

1

Clumsy. Inept. Inappropriate.
He's quite the catch.

1

I can't tell you how many times I've met someone for coffee from a site and they aged 10 to 20 years and gained 50 lbs. It blows my mind and while I'm honest, it's times like that in which dating from sites is trying. And why it's always for coffee. That way it's short and sweet. And why I don't chat on line for weeks.

But will have to admit while I'm very tactile with people I know, hugging a stranger isn't in my make-up.

1

I wouldn’t read too much into his comments. Dating is hard, communicating effectively is harder, and affairs of the heart are the hardest of all. Despite the popular notion, first impressions and gut instincts are not the best predictors. I always look for the good and the best.

You think? The copping a feel is not exactly heart warming...

@Palindromeman We I think if she still has doubts after whatever that was, then yes.

1

One word - and how it's said - could've moved the conversation ahead in a positive way. How about: You look EVEN better than your pics. That may count as a double compliment.

1

Ewww! If you have to ask us whether you should see him or not, there's your answer.

1

The you look better than you picture isn’t a that bad. But the copping a feel not good. Not during a hug. I mean if you were making out hot and heavy I might see it lol. If I was you I think I would pass.

1

While I agree that everything else he said and did was pretty tacky and crass, I just don't understand why saying you look better than your picture is an insult.

marga Level 7 Apr 8, 2018
1

I wouldn't be seeing him again.

1

Tell Him Too F.CK Off!

Coldo Level 8 Apr 8, 2018
1

Sounds like a whitehead.

I don't really know what you mean by that.

I apologize for autocorrect. That was meant to be shithead.

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