This stuff is best talked about over coffee! You are invited!

I have begun to ask them to consider if they have cognitive dissonance.

Me living in the states is no picnic. My parents are ok with my atheist views but a lot of other people around me are racist morons.

I would let it go. It's just a waste of energy. Too many people are just plain stupid. Find people willing to engage in rational discussion and you will extract more from it.

I've noticed that when there's more than one bigot, they never back down. When they're alone they can be reasoned with but as soon as there's another asshat around, they revert back to their old ways. Its a defence mechanism...its weird. Maybe it's how they survive? They believe they have to be on the winning team?
Messed up either way...
I'm sorry you have to endure that... it makes the days pretty damn long.

That does give some pause for thought there...

Two things I would say here:

1. “A wise man said don’t argue with fools/‘Cause people from a distance can’t tell who’s who.” A Jay-Z quote that I’m sure he got from somewhere, but whatever...
2. The way you change hearts and minds is not through words, but by example and exposure. You’re never going talk your family, or anyone else into tolerance, so don’t waste energy trying. This isn’t to say that you give up on them or let it slide when they mistreat people, but if it’s just comments where no one who might feel attacked is forced to endure, you’re better of walking away. In those moments, you show your dissaproval by not entertaining with a response. Easier said than done, I know, but much better for your peace of mind.

I hope that you gain financial independance soon and can get out and be with people that are more in tune with you. It's really difficult living with people that you don't see eye to eye with and who can't respect your views and it sounds like you're doing a great job at trying to be fair with them. No, that's not how most people behave: everyone is different and a lot of life is about finding your niche and people you love and who can love you for who you are. I really hope you find that in the not too distant future.

This is where I tend to keep my beliefs to myself. Arguing has only caused disaster. I let others follow their own path.

I never relied on my parents of sister for intelligent conversation.That I found elsewhere.

You can only be responsible for you. Make your life the example. Otherwise you are on a fools folly by trying to change or influence others by speech or writing.

Have you ever had an intelligent conversation with anyone ever?

Perhaps draw consolation from the fact those people are just as likely to have families as the others. : )>