What if you are living in a life that is not yours, and was based on old wrong choices.
On one hand: you are a different person now with different thoughts and believes than your community and family. And if they got to know that they will abandon you.
Also your marriage was based on your old religious thoughts and there is no even any matching with your wife.
But your family and kids they are all depending on you.
On the other hand: You want to live as normal happy life with your real identity and thoughts with the right matching for you, and build your own community that suits your new thoughts and life.
What do you think the right decision?
They weren't old wrong choices, those choices were based on the knowledge you had at the time. We go through life trying to make the best choices we can for ourselves and those we love, so those choices were right for you at the time, but now circumstances and priorities have changed and it's time to make choices which are right for who you are now, taking into account your honour and what you'll sacrifice for your family.
@Cyclone
and we always find ourselves saying, "if I knew then what I know now" and so on. I've said that a few times myself in this life-time of mine.
Our maturity levels, wants, likes, attractions etc are different at different ages in our lives. what mattered then, don't matter now etc wisdom heightens with age.
You need to find a support group of people with similar experiences. You can’t go through something like this on your own. So that if you are abandoned or rejected then you will have a safe place to land.