TWO PLUS TWO
By Ian Frazier, The New Yorker, June 14, 2021
Alabama: 5
Alaska: Leaning 4
Arizona: T.B.D.
Arkansas: 3-something California: 4.000001
Colorado: About 4?
Connecticut: $4.4 billion
Delaware: Ordinary 4
Florida: Commonsense 5
Georgia: 11,476 to go
Hawaii: 4-point-oh
Idaho: . 40 cal.
Illinois: Make offer.
Indiana: Ask again later.
lowa: 2,024
Kansas: 4/not 4
Kentucky: Nonnegotiable 5
Louisiana: Boo-coo 3
Maine: 5 but looking
Maryland: 4 and holding
Massachusetts: As 4 as it
gets
Michigan: Crossed-out-
tattoo 4
Minnesota: 4, if that's O.K.?
Mississippi: 6 and falling
Missouri: 3, 4, or 5-give
or take
Montana: At least 5
Nebraska: 5-ish 4
Nevada: 3, and the over
New Hampshire: 4 for now
New Jersey: 5, and the under
New Mexico: 5, please
New York: "5?" Please.
North Carolina: Turning 4
North Dakota: 5 below
Ohio: The 4 that is a 5
Oklahoma: Never 4
Oregon: 3.999999
Pennsylvania: "n" = the
Unknown
Rhode Island: Fried calamari!
South Carolina: Future 4
South Dakota: Tentative 7
Tennessee: Trending 3
Texas: 5 lone stars
Utah: Computers down
Vermont: Nonnegotiable 4
Virginia: 4, né 5
Washington: Fine with 4
West Virginia: Damn sure 6 Wisconsin: Conflicted 4
Wyoming: 4 the hard way
Could you explain this, please?
Sure! So basically this is a satirical commentary on the political division that exists today in the USA. Without mentioning it directly, the author represents the Republican Party's break with reality as it embraces a set of weird beliefs, including Trump's Big Lie (that he won the 2020 election), the idea that the COVID-19 vaccines are dangerous, the whole QAnon conspiracy theory, etc., etc. The vehicle for this representation is a simple mathematical equation: 2 + 2 = 4. Or does it? Given their apparent willingness to swallow any ridiculous brain fart proposed by Cheato and his minions, many residents of red states are likely to tell us that 2 + 2 equals 3... or 5, or 6, or...? So that's the basic joke. But Ian Frazier displays particular genius here in how he communicates nuanced differences on both sides of the political divide. For Massachusetts, the bluest of blue states, the answer is "as 4 as it gets," while in a state with a strong gun culture like Idaho, the answer is .40 caliber. Georgia's "11,476 to go" refers to the number of votes Trump tried to get state officials to "find" for him so that he could he declared the winner there. Wisconsin barely went blue in this last cycle, hence its "conflicted 4." North Carolina has been a reliably red state for a long time, but that is changing. So Frazier has N.C. at "trending 4." I hope you found this explanation helpful.