Change is my problem area. I did okay married. I did okay in friends with benefits. I do okay single. They are all equally gratifying and dismaying, high points and low points. Where I fumble is in the transitions.
But, now that I'm older, with my son and his fiance moving out in another year, I will have NO responsibility for one decade of my life...I want to really enjoy my time...single or hooked up it doesn't matter. I want to write and draw without distraction. Travel and be part of a community garden. Sell my home and live close enough to walk to the market...every day if that's what I choose.
Nice post, Pal!
Thanks crazy, nice one!
@crazycurlz my turn to return the favor. Keep working towards your dream of having time for yourself. I am an empty nester and I love it !!! I do the simple things you mention and it's really awesome !!! Cheers !!!
@IamNobody thanks for encouragement, my friend! I know I will be shell shocked when they move out. As a matter of fact my son (who's really looking forward to their upcoming plans) says his only worry is 'you, mom!'. I have a year to plan so I will do my best to put a happy spin on empty nesting. I have one stinking year! lol
@crazycurlz A year can pass by quickly, so get your skates on crazy!
@Palindromeman LOL you go that right!
Yup as long as you are not alone. People should not have the monopoly of other people's time and resources. Each person has their own priorities in life which may or may not involve other people. If you let society bully you to become a social animal against your will you will be miserable.
well said. and that's why they call you riteous.
Single is good.?
Since my divorce (amicable), I'm in an open base relationship & have happily obliged some MILFBAIT tooโฃ(I didn't know THAT was even a THING)?
Copy that. I'm still working out the pros and cons.
It can be better than staying in a toxic relationship.
"man drought" lol
Being single is fine. Definitely less drama, but less fun too.
Also, no one to help you lift furniture.
I live in the Melbourne suburbs, makes this more interesting.
I'm happy being single, and I have a number of female fiends that feel the same way. But in my 70's I might feel a bit different.
Having friends is the best part of life now.
Even though we both grew during our marriage, I think my wife had to adopt to more change because of my career, but she did it very well, and had good, portable skills. So, except for her choosing a career she never would have considered because of my interests, she very well might have been better off without me.
That's thoughtful of you to consider your wife's experience Lincster
I'm 30 and single.
It's not a competition. And if you don't end up with someone, that does not make you a failure.
@Palindromeman I'm happy to be single. I don't want a guy now.
@Sarahroo29 Good. I would just rather that you are well. Not patronising, just offering a friendly hand.
@Palindromeman Thanks.
I did not enjoy being single at first. Part of that was just the newness - I had never been single as an adult until my husband died. Now it is just sort of a where I am. I am ok with it now and do not find myself lonely. (I have three kids so that might be part of the equation.) That is not to say that I would not like a partner. But I would rather be alone than with the wrong person, so it works for me. Of course, when I get older, I might strike up an economic relationship. I definitely see the utility in sharing resources.
That is a tough break. I'm glad you are regrouping.
Surprised they didn't mention China's male overpopulation;
Wanna take a little trip?
?
I don't dislike it
I am...becoming accustomed to it.
I no longer see it as good or bad; it just is. Iโve been married 3 times, with a few other relationships in between. I canโt seem to sustain it for long. Part of it is that as a consequence of narcissistic abuse from my mother...narcs/toxic people are attracted to me. Iโm attracted to them, too; at least til the red flags come out. (INFJ problem?)
I actually feel better, more at peace, when single. Donโt always like it though...itโs hard to be isolated/alone, especially when Iโm sick. I have a push-pull thing of wanting a partner but soon as I have one, needing to protect my space and alone time.
Married 3 times! Is that not the triumph of hope over experience?
Can relate, part of me feels I should be in a relationship seeking one. But I am the most content I have ever been in my life.
@Palindromeman maybe...lol. Right now it feels like hope AND experience have kicked my ass?.
I agree. I am not sure why there is always this need to add a value judgement.
@quellefromage I think it's societal. This grinding social requirement to be with someone else. I'm still getting my head around it; I'm new here.