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Another introvert question from me, the clueless extrovert! So I may be moving in with an introvert roommate this fall or winter. We're really good friends, but she is VERY introverted and I'm nervous because I am very not and I don't know how living together is going to work! Any helpful hints? What are things that might drive her crazy that I can avoid, and how can I be good roommate and friend? She's also a Christian, should I engage in spiritual conversation or avoid it like the plague?

Pips 5 Apr 26
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8 comments

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If she's in her room, DO NOT disturb her. Our rooms are our safe zones. Where we can go to recharge our mental batteries and be alone. There are very few times to disturb an introvert in his/her room. Also if you're trying to have a conversation with her and she just replies with "cool, uh uh, really, mmm, okay," or most other quick responses, she's likely not interested and wants to be left the hell alone. And ask her about the religion thing. Ask her if shes open to tall about it. See what ways you can yalk about it. If shes okay hearing your opinions or anything. Dont push too hard, just respect she has a different view and try to have her respect that you have a different view. Hope I was able to help! These are just things I find my extroverted friends don't seem to realize about me and thought they might help you.

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Subject introvert extrovert introvert and have social anxiety but I'm not too bad like 1 on one but ask a lot of questions and encourage the other party to ask a lot of questions maybe make some jokes or do something stupid and funny I do that I'm pretty good at that I like to ask stupid personal questions every time I ask somebody if I could ask them a personal questions they say yes then I'll ask something stupid and then we'll all laugh

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If it's not too late, I'd suggest before you sign anything you sit down together with the express agenda of discussing the 'ground rules' of being roommates. What does each of you need that is non-negotiable in terms of space, privacy, topics to avoid... whatever. You could always renegotiate later, but if this discussion causes issues, I would suggest you'd be better finding someone else to room with and preserve the friendship.

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If you are really good friends, then it may not be a big problem. And it's not only your decision to move in right, she is also agreeing to join you. So, whatever comes, together you can fix. There will always inevitably be conflict of interest, it also depends on the life events which are unpredictable, so time will tell.

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Avoid it like the plague. Why are you good friends? Is it enough to live together?

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And if you sense her being offended, then avoide it like the plague.

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As far as your personality, just be yourself, she must like you ... you're friends. And religion just tread softly and try and turn up your perceptive abilities. You don't want to belittle her views(no matter how wrong they are). Take it slow and patient. Being an extrovert myself, I've found that I can hurt an introverts feelings without even knowing, when we are debating something serious.

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I’d avoid the god talk unless you two typically discuss things like that cordially n have a great time contrasting belief with lack thereof. As far as being considerate to an introvert just make sure to moderate how often you have company over I’d imagine. As long as it’s not like a constant party n you’re hosting a group of people at your home like max once a week, and give her warning when you have plans to do so id say it shouldn’t be a problem. Likewise maybe ask her to forewarn you if she knows she needs a specific amount of space n quiet some days. When I lived with an extrovert it wasn’t a big deal. His room was constantly a party and I could come join in when I felt like it, or stay to myself if I didn’t. Respect the position of each other’s door assuming you have your own rooms. On both sides if the door is closed, treat it like visiting a neighbor. If the door is open, treat it like visiting family.

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