What are the best ways you know to help someone build self esteem?
Mine would be to encourage them to do something they are interested in that's new and progress at it. Gaining new skills and improving at something can be great for gaining confidence.
6
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Depends a bit in the age of the person.
In most cases, achieving something that is a challenge for them.
Can be tricky, they don't need failures, that has the opposite effect.
Sharing the project with them helps in a number of ways.
If it fails, show them how to laugh it off, cop it on the chin and move on, also 2 people are more likely to achieve, each making up for theo others weaknesses. And if successful, the joy of sharing the success.
Rugglesby
Level 8
Apr 27, 2018
1
Yes, I've done high ropes and outdoor stuff with street kids before, but there aren't the same opportunities for that in the UK, but i'm sure there must be other things we could try.
As a teacher (music) one of the first things I have to try to get people to do is not freak out over making a mistake. The only way to avoid mistakes is not to try in the first place. You also have to convince people that they can do pretty much anything they set their mind to. Not necessarily at a professional level, but if you work on anything long enough, you will get better. Little kids know this. Ask any of them if they can draw or sing or whatever and they all say "Sure!". Then somewhere along the line they develop, or are convinced by others, the idea that only "special" people can do whatever, and if what I do isn't perfect I'm a failure.
Zippypinhead57
Level 5
Apr 27, 2018
1
Very well said.
It all depends on what is bringing that person's self esteem down. Lest say a girl with a huge nose has been bullied all the time because she is not # 10. The only way to solve her problem is plastic surgery....and whoever says "no" didn't meet one of my former students....neither heard what her classmates used to say to her.
DUCHESSA
Level 8
Apr 27, 2018
1
Oh that's sad, I guess she did get surgery then.
@girlwithsmiles I mentioned her case in another thread. She was a completely different person after the surgery....and she told me no to ask her how she got the money for it...she was only 19 y/o.
Helping others can be beneficial too--mentoring, teaching someone else something that you know, volunteering, etc.
ScienceRocks
Level 4
Apr 27, 2018
2
If someone has low self esteem because other people keep acting as if they're worthless, that means they're a better person than all those negative bastards. And the more of the bastards there are, the higher that places the person they look down on.
David_Cooper
Level 7
Apr 27, 2018
0
The person I'm thinking of has started belittling themselves and having negative self talk because of their experiences: so they've fallen into the trap of being their own persecutor rather than rising above it and saying I'm still ok; it's the others that have a warped view.
That's much harder to deal with then. Doing charity work can help some people in that situation, if they're able to do it (though I know that not everyone is if they're struggling to make ends meet), but it's one way I've seen that works - they need to be in a position where they can see other people gain from their presence so that they understand the power they have to make the world a better place. If there's also a depression issue, that makes it even harder still as it may need medication, though that's something to avoid if it isn't necessary. If a psychologist is already involved, make sure that it isn't a psycholopath - half of them specialise in making you think they're helping you while they actually undermine you in order to get as much money out of you as possible.
I tell people all the wonderful things that I see in them and let them know that's it's okay to express their emotions. We don't always have to be happy, or unafraid, or confident. It's okay to feel the whole rainbow of emotions that life has to offer.
Mea
Level 7
Apr 27, 2018
5
Yes, I've just come across a couple of women recently that seem to have very low self esteem and it seems to be a major issue affecting other areas in their lives. I was hoping that brainstorming esteem building exercises would give me some insight into how to assist.
The SNL skit of daily affirmations was actually spot on. Part of building self esteem is to break the negative narrative in your own head
GwenC
Level 7
Apr 27, 2018
6
Cool, thanks. Found this one with Michael Jordan:
@girlwithsmiles Oh, thank you so much for this. As a 12-stepper I love Stuart Smalley. Just having a hard time reconciling Al's bad behavior towards women.
@kmdskit3 oh, this is the first time I've watched him, will keep an eye out for that, ta.
@girlwithsmiles 'Stuart Saves His Family' is the movie. Very funny.
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