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Been on this site for several years. never dated anyone from this site. BUT I have had an active social life dating different women and even having a couple of medium term relationships with women during my time on here. I am currently in a very good relationship with a woman who I did not meet on here. We do not match up 100%, but we focus on our common interests and respect our differences.

I will not mention any names, but a number of male members on this site have very loudly talked about how hard it was to find someone to date, how hard it was to find compatible women. They talk about what they expect from a woman and how they will not compromise what their standards are.

While I do not know any of these men personally in real time, however based on their rants, I have come to conclusion, that the real reason they can not find any women to date is that they are flaming assholes.

My advice is for them to smell the coffee, change their behavior and quit being assholes. Then they will likely find women to date.

This is my view; click like or dislike, but I really am not interested in reading any comments on this from anyone. If you agree that is fine, I do not need to read it. If you disagree that is fine also, but I do not need to read about it.

creative51 8 Aug 9
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6 comments

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1

I can safely say that none of the people who responded (to the O post) with hearts in their eyes or the thumbs-up know me at all, and neither does the OP, so the whole notion of whose behavior or impression of themselves, let alone anyone else is, is in grave question. Ironically it supports the very opposite conclusion posed here and that it is hard to make a friend on here let alone a possible love interest - unless of course you just want to buddy up to bash people. Who'd want to be friends with people who take such an extreme negative and pessimistic view of fellow like-mindeds? It's bad enough we have to do intellectual battle with a wide variety of closed minds in todays' world, but we can't even come here to feel safe and welcome on any level or topic, lest it be to tribal up and rag on our own kind, so to speak. This is sad and I must say kind of disgusting.

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I wrote a long response to your diatribe but am over-writing it with this. You goaded me into defending myself but I don't need to answer to your baiting except to say that while I admit I've made a comment or two that this site has disappointed me in a few ways and you may be referring to me as one of your "assholes"... I'll give what little insight to you as you've given to other guys on here: I don't know you personally but you don't know me either. You made that clear but you claim to know enough to label other guys assholes. Well, I've known guys like you who kiss womens' asses by disparaging other guys. No one else really matters to you so it doesn't matter what they say, but if they do stand up for themselves you toy with them hoping to raise more ire to prove they are indeed assholes; and women won't disagree because you "honor" them with what they want to hear. Your post is about what a great guy you are, other guys should be schooled on that and women should adore you for telling it like it is. What bullshit. You're running a game on everyone here and are (imo) quite the narcisistic asshole yourself. Your calm, "reasonable" yet condescending and pretentious response to well-deserved retorts is just more acting, the character you play, because you're above it all, because you're self confident and self actualized, huh? Again, what bullshit and anyone who bought it needs to rethink what actually went on here. You didn't straighten anyone out or make this site a better place to interact; you divided it more. Now with that, if anyone cares to give a thumbs up or say hi, share a good thought, feel free, I still drop in to the site about once a week and I'm open to being friendly and having a nice chat on occasion. I'm not brilliant nor am I stupid; I'm a nice, decent, well-mannered, well-meaning person who's always willing to also get to know similar people in return. What an asshole, huh?

@creative51 Listen asshole, you don't know anything about me, have never met me and can't prove anything you have bashed me for. By the same token, I have never met you and have no proof whatsoever about any of your claims to be so successful and superior to me with women and relationships in general with them. For all any of the rest of us here know, you are lying thru your teeth and blowing smoke up our asses, all for your childish amusement. Your behavior here shows you to be an immature asshole, and none of the women here are impressed with you, except MsHoliday, who appears to be as fucked up as you.

Albert has you pegged completely. I've seen phony guys like you my whole adult life, kissing up to women and playing the sensitive, superior nice guy, and it's all an act, that most women, sad to say, buy completely, until they try to date you. Then they see who you really are, a fake, manipulative selfish actor feeding his own ego..

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The members of this site are two widely dispersed to actually meet each other. I'm here for the conversation, and some of that conversation is about dating.

Do you agree that the hostile and critical reception that people get here on the boards, esp. if they are men, and dare to share anything that is not humorous or silly, has ruined honest and open discussion about dating here?

@TomMcGiverin well, I try not to give too many sad details about my life because the women here can't handle it.

@BitFlipper Thank you, Dave, for admitting what I have been saying. I have been sharing those kinds of things here and you can see how I have been bashed for it, mainly by women, because they simply don't want to admit that kind of behavior happens with their fellow members of the sisterhood, so to speak. And then besides them, we get male assholes like this guy, who simply enjoy feeling superior to other guys and putting them down too, just for the fun of it, I suppose.

@TomMcGiverin It isn't productive to share negative details with people who can't do anything about it.

@BitFlipper Depends, if this were some kind of caring and supportive community, it would be helpful, but this group, as a whole, is anything but that. Hence, that is why we no longer see open, honest sharing on it from the members. Everything shared about dating has to either be all positive, sunny, etc. or else funny and silly, because anything else simply won't be accepted or supported by the community that is still left here. So much for community and connection. It's like living in my critical, toxic family that I grew up with. The idea of this still being a healthy, caring or connected community is a sick joke..

So before the OP tells me to leave, I'll just say that I won't, because I don't want to give you the satisfaction of it. And there are no grounds you can get me banned on, even if the admin. were still around and wanting to get involved in that sort of thing.

@creative51 I'm done feeding the troll.

@creative51 You kind of reveal that you are here to bait guys into defending themselves, say their poor opinion of you supports your hypothesis and gather a following of any others who'd like to pile on just because they can, or because you didn't send a blanket insult their way. What a guy thinks of your baiting has nothing to do with how they interact with normal people. You didn't accept a perfectly cogent opinion of the shallow dating scene here that for all intents and purposes is just a mirage, and the name-calling begins because that's your goal, not an intellectual discussion.

@AlbertSchepis Did you also notice how he got MsHoliday to join in the piling on and bashing me? You nailed it on his tactics and goals, and she is a bitch to have piled on with him against me. I haven't blocked her yet, but only because she hasn't replied to my justified confrontation of her. She is a perfect example of the sisterhood on here that love to male-bash and blame all men for the bad behavior of other women in the dating game. I wish most women on here would have the honesty and guts to stand up to her and her kind, supporting me, instead of staying silent on the sidelines or joining with guys like creative51 in the bashing of men like me who share honestly about the dating game.

It really is a gender double standard here on Agnostic, because nobody has ever seen me reflexively defending my whole gender when a woman would post about guys being assholes in the dating game. No, if anything, I would almost always agree and sympathize with them, believing them and accepting them as honest and credible. So why can't most women do the same on here? My guess is that they instead prefer a very selective, self-serving view of feminism in which past injustices by some men deserve to be avenged by present harsh treatment and unsympathetic/unsupportive treatment of all men to get even for it. And that kind of revenging against a whole gender, including strangers who have never done anything personally to them, or, for all they know, never personally done wrong to any woman, is not fair or right, and just plain stinks.

Or I could be reading too much into why so many women on here seem to have this negative attitude towards most men, and rather than some twisted form of feminism, it may be simple misandry, as racocn8 has suggested in the past.

You gave a very reasonable and insightful comment in the midst of this rancor... well done.

@creative51 So I guess my late wife, who I was with for 22 years, wasn't interested in me and that I'm still an asshole when I stood by her and looked after her the last six years of her life with dementia? What the fuck do you know about me? Why should I think you're the kind of man who would stand by her after she got dementia? I really doubt it, considering how little heart you seem to show here.

@creative51 You're still baiting and fighting other guys (you claim to know) to impress women. Even criticizing them when they stand up for themselves; so grade school. If that's the kind of woman you attract, I wouldn't want her. I'm doing fine, btw, and you are just a bully.

@creative51, @TomMcGiverin Yeah see? He doesn't know who or what he's talking about because, as I agree, if/when it comes down to when he should actually be a man for a woman, he likely has no clue. I also took care of a woman for her last 12 years when she was gravely ill (also with dementia) when I could have been off having fun, free to brag about what a great guy I am compared to other guys, as this guy does. The difference being I'm not all talk. Good for you too Tom.

@AlbertSchepis Thanks Al... Standing by your partner in sickness and terminal illness is the sign of a real man, instead of this asshole..

0

I actually agree with you but the fact that you don't care what others think is kind of sad to me. I've always thought people can learn more from people who think differently than themselves than anywhere else.

@creative51 I think that's a convenient lie. Anyone who announces a controversial opinion then says discussion is over is simply not taking responsibility for it while bathing himself in whatever knee jerk nods he may initially get. You got what you wanted. You masturbated your ego and now you're off to do what... fight crime?

0

Couldn't agree more! Taking yourself Sooo seriously is the first problem......

1

I will comment anyway, and if you don't like it, you can shove it. I assume you are talking about me, as well as other men, and you are one arrogant ass to judge me without knowing me at all, as you say. My late wife obviously didn't think I was an asshole and neither do my longtime friends. They all knew and know me way better than you, so STFU! You also don't live in my area, and therefore know nothing about my local dating pool. Your arrogance is matched only by your ignorance of the things you feel you know enough about to judge others on.

As I've said before on these boards, it's no mystery why there is so little discussion in recent months from members about their actual dating experiences, outside of posting very safely about funny or silly memes or experiences with foolish people on dating sites. And it's all because of how people get treated if they have the courage to be honest about bad experiences with online dating or IRL dating that involve any negative emotions or experiences, and how when they do share them here, they always get bashed and negatively judged by people like you. So congrats, you have helped ruin what used to be a useful, active, supportive, and sometimes helpful and informative forum for single members. I hope you are proud of what you and others like you have accomplished.

Nobody ever disputes what I have said about what has happened to discussions of dating on these forums, and I can only take that as proof that I am right about that and that they agree with me, but aren't willing to open themselves up to criticism about it from people like you.

@creative51 I won't, but you can look this up from The Simpsons......" Get bent"...

@creative51 Give it a rest, you sarcastic asshole.

@creative51 Boring, try not repeating yourself..

@creative51 FU, no translation needed, in English.... Nobody is taking a side with either of us, so you may as well drop it, you're not impressing me or anybody else here.

Well said Tom, and if it's okay to say, if I were a woman, I'd be interested in you because you feel things other than to just put out a blanket put down of all other guys on this site without knowing them or perceiving anything good about them. At least we have a good idea where this guy is coming from, and the final exchange you had with him shows just where he wanted his post to go. He really isn't impressing anyone, he's just having his little fun... very little.

@AlbertSchepis Thanks again, and yes, he doesn't know me at all. If I were the asshole he claims that I am, I would not have had my 22 year relationship with my late wife, the last six years of which were spent looking after her and watching in horror as she lost who she was and then died of dementia. It was my only LTR, leaving me one for one on successful LTRs, and I will put my relationship track record up against anybody else's on here. So who is he to bash me as an asshole who deserves to be alone the rest of my life due to supposedly only my fault? I doubt he would have stayed by my wife and supported her thru her dementia, besides always being faithful to her our whole relationship, if he had been in my shoes...

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