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“The smarter and more independent you are, the harder it is to find love.”
“Independence -- more than intelligence -- ruins our relationships.”
"Independence compatibility" still isn't enough. Your intelligence will make things difficult.”
[elitedaily.com]

KateOahu 8 May 12
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6 comments

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0

Sometimes I post things just to see what people think about them. The comments here are most interesting.

2

My stupidity or intelligence was never a problem to find love . Given the fact that love is not stagnant . Love can grow or love can go poof !
My problem was to keep love . Sure , when younger , pigs fly . Yeah , y not . Now days , I don’t know many men who will put up w my shit for long , I am sure they can love me , but give it few months and they will look for an exit to save their lives 🦇. Insane routines , epic anxiety , culture and heritage that doesn’t mix well w American life style , and the dogs have to sleep w me . Day time . Bcz I don’t know anymore after 24 yrs what night sleep is like 😂
I have gave up on the idea of finding love and my brains have none to do about , I feel . My inability to change my ways , that’s gonna be my ticket to the “ table for one pls “, and it is what it is 🦇✌🏻

I never met a man who would put up with my shit. Their loss. Because some of my shit is pretty damn good.

5

Jeeebus, so to be loved i need to be stupid and needy? Hard Pass on the type of guy who thinks that's a good idea that's gonna happen..........

Do any of them think that’s a good idea?

3

If being discerning and careful, by not settling, lessens the chances of finding a good relationship, so be it. I'll take the gamble, as I will not settle for less than what I can give myself. I enjoy being independent, so until someone comes along who can enhance rather than detract from my own happiness, I'll continue to be solitary.

Doubling my happiness would be great, and I see it in other couples daily, but my own personal experiences so far has shown me that sharing my life halves it instead of doubling it. Maybe it's because I'm independent and have grown a little bit wiser, knowing myself better, but it is what it is.

I don't mind being self contained at this time in my life, but I think I could also be happy in a larger container with others as long as I have lots of space.

I don’t mind, either. But I have space for the right guy.

4

Gee, does the author generalize much? 🙄 I have always been highly independent (enjoy solitude, provide for the majority of my own needs myself). I am seldom lonely and CHOOSE love, rather than pine for it. My best partners have operated similarly. Some wanted to only be with me now and then, yet my husband and I were together all the time because we enjoyed it. That desire did not seem to correspond to either intelligence OR independence. It had a lot more to do with balance and compatability. There are men whose idea of a “proper woman” is needy, even helpless. Those men won't align well with me, which is fine. They likely will with someone else.

I find these opinions fascinating, for sure. Given my experience, this particular take misses the mark a bit. I enjoyed the reading, though. 🙂

Zster Level 8 May 13, 2023

Yes, the author does. I was wondering if it was written by an AI.

5

I disagree. The article is confusing love with cohabitation. The main requirement for a successful marriage is not love, it is loyalty, supported by affection.

I also disagree. But IMO friendship (which would include loyalty and respect) is probably key. I’ve encountered very few relationships (anyone’s) that have much depth.

@KateOahu Well, we've managed it for 55 years. We've always had our own friends and our own cars, and have not always gone out together. In other words, we have independence We are both, also, of above average intelligence, with a well developed sense of humour, especially of the ridiculous. All this gives the lie to the article.
Obviously we are "friends", but also have others, not necessarily mutual.

@Petter I hope you didn’t think I was criticizing you OR your relationship, because there was certainly no such intent. I do not feel entitled to an opinion on anyone’s relationship, and feel quite certain I would wish to have both you and your wife as friends, were we geographically located to enable it.

@KateOahu You would be most welcome. There is an increasing dearth of people with a wide range of interests and culture in this area. The area's original, "misfit" characters have mainly departed, many as smoke or non-edible humous, some in search of new homes.

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