Bernice is a friend of mine married to Jerry since she was 15. They are Baptists that I first met as they picked up Jackie, now my ex, walking back from town before she was able to drive. Over the years they even had dinner with us a few times. Baptists will not normally eat with you but these two did with us. Jerry died a couple of weeks ago and I asked their friend Fred how Bernice was doing.
As my series of coincidences would have it, I planned to go to a food distribution place last Friday. There at the back of the line was Bernice. It was as if this was all planned. What was the chance of her being there the way this worked out?
She greeted me and started in with Jerry's passing and how she could not get over that. She was really having a hard time, she said. Bernice is 85 now and they were married for 70 years. I offered help in my own way. The first thing I told her is that you do not "get over" this and if anyone tells you differently, even your church, avoid them. Death is a part of life and what has to happen is that you learn to live with his passing and you do it in your own time and at your own pace. Therapy might help but I would also avoid a therapist who wanted to speed you up into what they think is best for you. This is a very personal time of life and is important to you. I avoided her ideas of resurrection and seeing Jerry then, etc. and continued on as nicely as I could.
I was gathering a small crowd of 4 or 5 people and others listening too. Later I got the impression they thought I was a therapist. Some would join in and offer their support going along the lines I was presenting. People were being let inside one at a time but when Bernice and I got to the door they let us in together. This was my first time at the food pantry and it was started by a local minister that my drinking neighbor works with. I could not believe how well I was treated by everyone, and I can go there once a week they say. A little free food helps.
I'm not sure what will happen with Bernice. She wants to see herself free enough money wise to go live with her daughter in St. Louis. That may be a good idea. I told her so and believe both her and her daughter have discussed this. I do not know her daughter.
Now back to the coincidences. They always happen to me in everything I do all the time. Jerry died and I was asking about Bernice. What are the chances of me meeting her in that food pantry line last Friday? My story here is also a main reason that religious people think "things happen for a reason" and that they are special. The gullible suck these things right up. In my world I believe that things happen. It's really that simple except for my life of coincidences. Things happen because they can and do happen. Reading yourself into the story seems to indicate you think you are special.
What do you think?
(JW has now been edited to read as Baptist.)