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8 13

A life lesson which my marriage has drilled into me:
People react and respond to what they think you said, not what you think you said. Although it couldn't be any other way, it's important to remember this.

#marriage
towkneed 7 Mar 26
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0

Level 8

What'd you say?

2

Level 9

And write.

3

Level 9

We all have our own perception, influenced by our education and experience. We can change our perception when we have new experience or education.

4

Level 8

I like to think I’m better at listening than that, and, at the moment, my partner is quite good at hearing me too. Long may it continue!

4

Level 7

True, But Sometimes it can be the opposite!
Called "the Curse of Knowledge" ; When you assume others know what you know and all have the same understanding. Which leading to unclear communication.

Diaco Level 7 Mar 26, 2024
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There are usually signs of a misunderstanding.

@Betty Well, I mean in general, communication is somehow complicated and is kind of an art/skill.

There's a bunch of well know Mind Traps and issues, which can explain most of cases.

Personally, with failed stories, I'd start with my self and check all, especially "the Self Serving Bias".

a problem in long-term relationships never suddenly appears in one day.

@Diaco I agree. Communication can be complicated depending on the abilities and knowledge of the other/s.

I admire your ability to self-check. It is not a skill that everyone has. 🙂

I agree that problems usually build up. Honesty, respect, and trust in a relationship can help mitigate that.
4

Level 7

That is Exactly why I feel free to give advice, I Know you are only going to hear what you want to hear...every time!
Then when you f*ck up, I can happily say I told you so...Such a win-win for me......

3

Level 8

That is why in counseling the listener is required to repeat back what they just heard. The old "telephone" game whereby one whispers in their neighbors ear & so on around the circle. The outcome is usually different than the original statement.

3

Level 7

Throw in cultural nuance and you have the mixing of verbal dino-mite

Or so I have heard!

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