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I was responding to a post in another thread I started when Julie808 wrote about a woman who is highly critical of other women. This prompted me to complain about one of my big pet peeves: Women who are critical and downgrade other women based on anything from clothes to hair to age. Of course, I have an anecdote to share on this issue.

Weeks ago, I was walking into Walmart when a few yards from me in the parking lot, a man sneezed and I said "Bless you" or some other inanity in response to his sneeze. He laughed and we walked into the store together and chatted for about ten minutes about nothing in particular. I do not remember what was said and I would not recognize him if I saw him again.

A few days ago, one of the women door-greeters asked me if I had seen that "good-looking man" again. I didn't know of whom she spoke for a couple of minutes, but as she described us walking in together and chatting, I realized that she meant the sneezer.

Nope, I had not seen him again.

She gushed for a couple of minutes about how handsome he was and asked if I had any interest him. I said that at 71, I was not interested in a relationship. She carried on about him for a couple of minutes more, asked me if I knew if he were married (no, I did not), then said, "If you ever see him again, tell him that I am interested in him."

There was no way I would do that for several reasons. I did not explain that if were interested in her, he would have let know when he left the store. Instead, I explained that most likely, I would never see him again.

Then, the clincher came: "If you see him, tell him that I AM ONLY 67."

Instantly, my whole attitude toward this woman changed. She fell back on the issue of age and the older the woman, the less desirable she was. The desirability issue was moot to me; the assumption about age was irritating.

And honestly, her catty remark brought out the cat in me. I was 13 years old again and a thin girl at school was asking a boy who had spoken to me why he did so because I was "fat and ugly."

However, I did not remark to door-greeter that her gray hair made her appear older than I am nor that she has more wrinkles than do I. I could have said that good-looking men like good-looking women. Yup, I thought it, but did not say it.

Women need to build up other women, not knock them down. I consistently compliment strangers on their hair, their apparel, or their smiles. We do not need to compete with each other and we should not compete with each other. Maybe the door-greeter will figure this out by the time she is 71.

Gwen_Wanderer 7 June 26
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My question(s) would be to the manager of the store, they Cannot know she is acting so inappropriately when supposedly being a greeter, and somebody should tell them!!!

I couldn't do that. Not without knowing the woman's back story. It may provide perspective.

Good point. Men should be able to enter the store without worrying about being hit on by the greeter. Likewise, women should be able to enter the store without being ogled and hit on as well. I would hope there is something in the training manual covering this kind of behavior.

She is an adequate door-greeter! I think she felt comfortable expressing her desire about introducing the man to her because I am so . . . friendly. I would have shrugged it off had she not made the comment about age.

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When women put other women down, they are trying to build themselves up. It comes from insecurity, poor self-image and a need to compete. It's sad and so unnecessary.

Betty Level 8 June 26, 2024

I very much agree. For centuries, women were taught to compete with other women to get the best husband as status and subsistence depended on husbands. Now, we can work to gain our own status and wages. I wondered if she were making a joke, but I don't think so.

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