Veterans, submit your favorite (or at least ONE) story here:

One morning, my squad and I were tasked with cleaning the john before the morning formation. I was Heavy Anti Tank Weaponry Crewman (TOW) at the time and our companies were small and our squads the same, so, despite being in the Infantry, there were only 5 of us. We cleaned the sinks, urinals, floors, mirros, etc... late in the game one of OUR NCO's (I will NOT mention Sergeant Feral's name, it wouldn't be correct) came in and went to the last stall, and installed himself in it.

He was quiet... and was taking his time. No, we did NOT observe him going in with any magazines, and this was before cell phones. He might be having coitus with the stall but... not, that's beneath even him. This must have been the Father of all shits! No other explainations.

It got to where there was about 5 minutes to formation, and it was me and another squad mate (Oh, I so want to use names, in hopes of finding David Silva and other friends from the military but I must not mention names). I had the mop and was leaning on it at the door, and my squad mate had the bucket. Basically, we were cleaning the floor and everyone else had the other duties so, were done and gone (save, of course, cleaning up after Sgt Feral and Father Feces).

It must be noted here that the Sgt in question (who shall remain nameless (Feral)) was a bit of a Spit Shine Soldier. His boots were done just so, and his creases were the stuff of legend, able to cut even the toughest vegetables into a fine mince! Not that I ever witnessed this, I just was told.

My squad mate, noting the time, it was getting very close to formation, very... VERY... carefully poured a bucket of water under th e Sgts stall (FERAL).

Now, it is also of note that this particular Sgt had been warned by the most spectacular and most effective of platoon leaders, who shall remain anonymous (You thought I was going to say nameless and not mention Pt Sgt Broms name, didn't you?), let me tell you, he was amazing, I would've followed him into any shit storm and taken no less than three bullets for him... the other Sgt, I'd've dogded, repeatedly... Where was I? ... Oh, yes, Our Anonymous Pt Sgt had warned the other Sgt, who was known for striking his men, that if he laid a hand on any of the men, he'd be broken down to buck private in a heart beat!

So, after the water goes, gently, carefully, VERY CAREFULLY, under the stall... the Sgt comes out all in a fury, and having water sluiced into his stall, he charges at the man with the mop. Me.

By the way... another aside, I know, I had college at the time, yes, this private, I won't mention (Dave Harts) name, had a number of college credits under his belt, enough that he actually had more points towards Sgt than some Sgts... this one in particular.

So, this nameless (feral) Sgt charges up to the guy with the mop... and what do I do? I smile... and I hope, I hope with all my might that this Sgt punches me... so I can run to my Pt Sgt and tell him what happened.

That shouldn't be a good story... but it IS it so much is! And tells you so much about the Military. And remember, I did NOT drop any names.