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I filed for divorce from my wife of almost sixteen years today. It's mutual and we love each other, we just can't live together. So I don't know if I will be on here very much in the near future. Too many things to take care of. Be well everyone!

ebdb 7 May 9
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31 comments

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8

Thanks to everyone for your support! It's hard because we do love each other and hope to stay friends. It's her family that has me upset right now. None of her family is there for her... not her parents, sister, brother, or son (from a previous marriage). I have a different opinion of the lot! This makes the divorce that much harder, and I was very upset last night. It's nice to know this community wishes me well.

If everyone enjoys the puns I will try to post some. Thanks!

ebdb Level 7 May 10, 2018
7

The dearest person in this world to me right now is a woman with whom living together was tried for several years, a couple of times. It doesn't work well, but we are still very close and didn't throw out the proverbial 'baby with the bath water'. We were eleven years together 'intimately' and decided mutually to release from the close orbit to one more comfortable that wasn't close enough for the day to day, habit negatives to impinge.

She is now intimately bonded to another guy we've both known for about three years. He is one of a handful of men I really like and respect. They are closer in habits and values and he's even kinder and more tender hearted than me.. Go figure 🙂 I could see that he was thoroughly smitten from almost the first but respectful. We are, all three, close friends. I'd do anything for either of them or her son; who is like my own son to me. I watch over him (he's disabled) when she or they go away on trips, vacations etc. We three and often four (when I invite a woman) go out places for fun times. Tomorrow morning she'll be driving me to a surgery an hour away, bringing me back to her home and nursing me back for a few post-op days. She cuts my hair and acts as an enthusiastic yenta. I still help out with projects around her place sometimes.

What I'm trying to say, not just to you but rather rhetorically, is that if we really love and care about another person's happiness and well-being, the conditions don't necessarily become exclusionary if both share the deep regard and respect for one another. It is society's and cultures awful, limiting dictates and ego that cause so much unnecessary pain and regret.

If your situation can't be mutually adjustable in some way, heal soon. Life is so short.

Your a lucky man when me and first wife broke up I helped her when I could Peaple called
Me a full for it including her family but she was the mother of my children I told felt like telling them I not one of you Christian's I really do believe in helping others when I can
But was still in the closet about my atheist belief.

@Timothy Even the worst, most hateful among them (xtians) claim their professed cult to be about love. Actual kindness from within makes them uncomfortable. When they see non-believers or other sects demonstrate love and compassion it gets even worse.

Religiously rooted notions that relationahips must turn to entire rejection because some situations are found not to work is only one of the many ways theological fanaticism inflicts pain and destroys lives.

A close 7th Day Adv. friend once told me he thought I, an atheist, was 'more Christian' than most Christians he knew. But for knowing his high regard, I'd have been deeply insulted.

He'd probably remark similarly about you Tim. 🙂

5

Wishing you well, Sir. So many of us understand the pain you must be going through. Hope to see you back here soon. Cheers.

5

Every single day, treat yourself to some small lovely thing, if only a moment enjoying a view, or a nice coffee/tea.

4

Such an awful thing to go through. May peace find you.

4

I'm so sorry things didn't work out for you and your wife, and I hope things start falling into place quickly.

4

I'm sorry you are going through pain right now.

You can always return to this website when you feel like conversation, or even dating again.

4

I'm sorry. This must be a tough day for you. Haha, and not one single person on here is sending you thoughts and prayers. But take care, and be well, yourself, and good to yourself.

3

And good luck, I hope it continues to go smoothly. Be, well.

MikaB Level 5 May 10, 2018
3

We're here for you in the interim if you just need our collective shoulders to lean on. Many of us have been in similar situations. Best wishes to you and hope we will see you soon!

3

It doesn't matter what the reason or how you still feel towards each other- 16 years is a long time and divorce must be very difficult to adjust to. I give you both credit for mutually coming to this point and doing it for the sake of your happiness. There are many marriages out there that are in name only and not truly happy. Congrats on wanting more for yourselves. Good luck to both of you.

3

Good luck in building a new life, and saying good-bye to the old one.

3

I'm about to go through the same ordeal. My husband of 20 years told me a week ago Sunday that he "friended an old high school acquaintance" and "I didn't mean for it to happen". And here we are!
Even a mutual divorce is stressful and lonely.

3

thinking of you---take the good, learn from it and try to go forward. I know you want to smack me for saying that, but I have been there--it hurts. Hopefully you can stay friends.

3

Sorry to hear that. It's always painful no matter what the reason. I wish you well.

3

You will be missed. Take care of yourself. ?

3

Breaking up can be hard; not breaking up can often be much worse. Good wishes for you both.

2

Just hang a shingle on your bio saying that you are taking a sabbatical. Or simply suspend your account.
Thanks for all the puns and groans.
May the Companions of Health, Peace and Fulfilment travel with you throughout your life.

2

Have you tried living in different rooms?

2

Don't tell me she got custardy of your Atheism?
Hang in there....

2

Been through it dude,#justlive

N7EIE Level 6 May 10, 2018
2

I'm sorry to hear that. Must be an emotional toil. Best wishes to you.

2

Wishing you the best of life to you and your wife. Life will continue. I hope you guys remain good friends.

1

I know the feeling only too well. Best wishes.

are you divorcing his wife as well?

@Jacar ROFL. 🙂 (Maybe later - mine is still tolerating me.)

1

Fascinating. There seems to be quite a few people on here who have divorced amicably.... myself included. Of the folks I knew who were involved in a divorce before this- none of them were "pretty." Hmm. Is it it the atheist/agnostic angle, or are times a-changin?

MikaB Level 5 May 10, 2018
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