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I've discovered that no matter what dating/community sites I've been on for the last year, I describe myself, my interests, my education, there is no one who even remotely matches me, even here. I don't understand why.

tucsonkosmicgirl 5 May 20
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10 comments

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0

I understand your problem finding matches. I also have degrees and seldom find others with them outside of labs and/or universities. Inside both environments men are bombarded with anti-harassment training to the point where we just don’t want to risk starting. Also, I suspect that Tucson has more PhDs than Omaha but still not many. If I lived in AZ I would definitely ask you out.

1

Maybe you're over qualified..(joking)

0

Maybe you will have to "Lower The Bar"

Coldo Level 8 May 21, 2018

Nope, not gonna.

0

Sometimes opposites attract.

Unless you're subconsciously sending out the message you want to be single.

Not a chance. Not interested in some touchy-feely, romantic, artsy person.

@tucsonkosmicgirl

Not being funny, but have you ever thought about how others perceive you?

3

I wonder what you'll accept as a "close" match?
Your education level and scholarly accomplishments are impressive. Will a potential date for you need to approach that level? That will limit your pool considerably.
Location is a big issue too. If we had teleport pods dating would be much easier.
The site is small still, compared to Match, for instance (which I haven't tried).
After 4 yrs or so of online dating, I've had the most luck with POF. It's gignormous and free and full of deceivers and nuts. Strenuous culling and ignoring is required. But their numbers are so big, I've found success there by learning to cull effectively.
Women probably cull at ten times my rate. I'm not sure you're up for that.
So I'd say patience. But you've heard that already.

Education has been my life, obviously. I am more comfortable in a classroom than anywhere, and would be most comfortable with an academic. Not everyone understands. I know it can be intimidating, but I'm not going to apologize for being smart. I had three month subscriptions with Zoosk and Match last summer, and cancelled both of them weeks in advance because of scammers and really nasty comments. For example, one idiot told me he was on a ship in the Atlantic and claimed that a picture he posted was from that morning, with him sitting on an island. I told him I had a geology background, and there were no islands there. End of conversation. I'm also a good researcher and could find out quickly if people were who they said they were. It was pathetic and discouraging.

@tucsonkosmicgirl
Of course you realize that education and intelligence do not always coincide.
I wonder if an intellectually gifted guy who did not always exist in the sheltered cocoon of acedemia would relate well to your brand of brilliance.

@CallMeDave : of course, and probably not, through no shortcoming of his. I just feel more comfortable with academics and as an introvert, relate better to them. It's partially a difference in the way to think about the world. Academia isn't better than non-academia, simply different.

1

You might want to include a photograph of yourself.

I'm a 5' 2" blue-eyed blonde. Are pix really THAT important???

@tucsonkosmicgirl Not if you're searching for a collaborator on your next dissertation.
If, however, any potential romance is the goal, then yes, one or two is important.

@CallMeDave : I added one, but the dissertation option is probably more appealing 🙂

2

yep, billions of people on the planet and no-one ticks the right boxes.
Just shows how unique you/we are.
In all honesty though, I think it is much harder as we get older, more stuck in our ways, fussier, less inclined to compromise.

1

Um, it would help if you put up a recent photo of yourself, since that's often the first/only thing most men look at.

I guess I'm not that interested.

Added one.

@tucsonkosmicgirl Great pic! You're in shape, for sure!

@birdingnut : Thanks.

2

It can take a while to find a match, especially for high achievers.

2

Uniqueness...

  1. How come you got a job and others dont?
  2. How come your set up and others are not?
  3. How come you got money and others dont?
  4. How come your youtfull and other are not.
    Hang in there.
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