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Would you date an old friends former partner? For someone you seriously think may be the one

Renickulous 7 May 21
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15 comments

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1

I wont. Women of my buddies are off limit to me. I am very proud to say I never had an affair with a friend's wife. Is not even in my vocabulary. Boundaries, boundaries.

I made a pact with a girlfriend at 17 and it has stuck since.

@Renickulous I was raised under the premise "my friends before women"... 64 years later still works for me. Women can be replaced faster than a friend.

2

Nope. Out of respect for my friend, I just wouldn't do that.

0

Probably not

0

yes, have done.
My best mate and his wife split, for a few years they would meet at my place to do the child swap. He remarried, my marriage had ended and I had just finished a subsequent relationship. His wife and I always got on very well, and became more than friends for a few years. She was into drama, it only lasted 2 years, she tried 10 years later to get back together and will not talk to me unless we are going to be a couple again. I still see him at the hardware store occasionally. We still get on fine, he sees her occasionally at their kids weddings and such.

0

If it's my best friend, or someone I'm always around? No. If it was someone I wasn't close to, or never hung out with? Yes.

@Renickulous I've known my friend for 11 years now. We've been there for each other when the other has needed it. I feel that doing that will not only betray his trust in a way, but it will also make for a weird environment if I were to bring his ex around. This is assuming his ex and I were compatible or attracted to each other etc. I just feel that it would possibly cause too many problems that might hurt our friendship. There are plenty of women out there for me to find that are compatible with me. Also, he might think I was thinking about his current girlfriend/fiance in the same way.

0

Personally, I wouldn't

0

No!

Coldo Level 8 May 21, 2018
0

What do you mean by "old friend?" Like a friend you had a long time ago? Certainly! Or someone you've been friends with a long time? Then I'd have to run it by them first.

I'm pretty recently divorced and 2 of my exes friends have made it clear they'd like to get together with me. It just seems weird to me.

@Renickulous ok thanks for clarifying. I’m thinking of my best friend since high school and no, I couldn’t proceed.

@Renickulous actually....it would kind of depend I guess. The one? That’s tough.

1

I'm of the mind that there is a code between women that we don't involve ourselves with our friends old partners... but maybe after some time has gone by and the friend has moved on it might be okay. Maybe in that case, the two potential partners could get to know each other secretly to see if there is something special before informing the old friend, so as not to cause hard feelings for nothing? A true friend that is totally over their former partner should be happy for you to have found true love, with someone that was a close match for them.

@Renickulous Yes, I wouldn't want to hurt a friend, if the same thing would hurt me. I'd wait until enough time had passed for the grief over the loss of the relationship subsided. If it's "the one" then that new relationship will still be there at a later date.

0

Not somewhere I would like to go. My daughters mums friend is someone I really dig and she digs me but I couldn`t do it and neither could she. That being said, if she was "THE ONE" I would fight a horde of berserk vikings for her and damn the consequences.

0

What does ‘the one’ mean?

KenG Level 6 May 21, 2018

@Renickulous There are probably thousands of potentials, not just one.

2

Now, THERE'S a minefield waiting to take some limbs!

0

I’d probably try to avoid doing that. It depends on how much you care about your friend and whether your friend still has feelings for his ex. And since he’s an old friend, you should talk to him about it. Though just know that even if he says he’s cool with it, he may not be as cool with it as he thinks.

0

Yes.

Life is short. Love is rare.

0

I not sure what you mean by the one. IF it a former partner if it didnt work the first time i wouldnt be willing to go down that street again

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