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18 7

So, about dating...

This is probably the most difficult and most frustrating. As an awake and aware person in the south, everyone here is pretty devout and close minded to anything outside of a white jesus bible. God fearing or must love the lord or I attend church regularly are in every profile and persons mouth. Followed by extremely judgemental and condescending tone of belittlement cast upon nonbelievers.
What to do? We all have personal taste in appearance and a desired quality of character but a difference in politics and religious beliefs can get ugly.

JazzBlack 5 May 21
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18 comments

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0

I know several couples who disagree on religion and especially politics.

My best friend decided he was atheist in elementary school, lol much smarter than I am and until Trump was a big Republican. His wife is a social Catholic and fairly liberal.

Another friend in SLC is very left, I'd almost say rigidly left, but her fiance is an articulate Trump supporter.

I do think it's very hard if one person is devout in their religion. Religious people simply cannot disagree with others rationally bc there's no way to resolve if "God" said it and you must obey.

1

I let men know that I am atheist right off the bat. Since I broke it off with my last boyfriend, I have no one whom I would even consider dating--not because of their religious affiliations but because I am extremely shallow and have qualities upon which I insist. Religion is not one.

I wouldn't say having standards is being shallow. Long-term compatibility is tough and people shouldn't be stuck with someone they can't get along with

@educatedredneck Been there, done that . . . never again!

2

Get out of the south.
Or at least move to that part of your state that is most liberal/open minded.
All states seem to have those locations. Frequently they are very near universities.
I moved from southern VA to northern VA. Huge difference.
Best of luck.

imdd Level 2 May 23, 2018

The consensus seems to be, move. I exhausted my resources last year moving here and its been downhill ever since. I believe I made a mistake often. It's just so beautiful here, I would dislike spending my time here alone.

0

Be yourself - every pot has a lid πŸ™‚

0

Move? It was the only thing I could think of for dating with any hope for a total connection.

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1

I live in sc and got into a~v e r y ... heated discussion complete with name calling/bad mouthing/etc (against me) about the point of never finding an atheist in a foxhole .... i was one against many who seriously believed that. what a day that was . . .

Well, I'm a combat veteran and there are PLENTY of atheists in foxholes.

@educatedredneck good to know. never been in that type of combat πŸ™‚ but have had plenty that if i was gonna backslide i woulda already done so.... hard to change their minds though

@blueskies confirmation bias hits all humans, but it's really bad when you have a divine directive and absolute morality backing up your random bullshit and indoctrination

3

Rest assured, there are more atheists and agnostics than you realize, and they're all around you. They're equally intimidated by the atmosphere. But they are there and they're worth seeking out.

0

I feel ya, Alabama was bad. I was on campus, so I could at least find women who weren't devout in their fairy tales.

LOL, oddly I've had better luck in the land of Moron-I, although some just HATE religion and I don't need that negativity. Move to Utah if you can πŸ™‚

I am seriously laughing. πŸ™‚

Not Seattle, not Boston, not New York, not Portland, or San Francisco -- all generally less religious than many other places. But, Utah. Yeah, that's it! That's the ticket. All the atheists, let's converge on the oh-so-atheist-friendly state of Utah. πŸ™‚

Sorry -- I'm kind of teasing. But, just a little. πŸ™‚

@BlueWave I was surprised to find such a diverse community here. I really couldn't live in a major city, although I just spent several days in LA and the random bar chats I had was AWESOME!

LOL tease away, I wouldn't recognize any of my friends and family if they were polite πŸ™‚

@JessicaBeZazzle That is absolutely true. Amazingly beautiful .

Utah is great for people who love the outdoors. Maybe I'll post a view from my house later, it's gorgeous. Mormons rarely do long hikes, I had a phenomenal hour chat with a random Buddhist hiking a couple of weeks ago.

I hang out in coffee shops and have regular wine tastings. I've lived here 2 years and still haven't had a single annoying LDS experience. I'm not sure how or why but someone put my house on the black list, missionaries avoid me and I'm not complaining πŸ™‚

4

I agree that politics and religious belief differences can eat at a relationship but that's why I'm here upping my odds

1

Try being a teacher in a small southern town. I've been through that before, and may have to return to that situation again. Your every move is scrutinized, let alone dating.

3

You don't have a lot of choice. You fight to be yourself or you surrender and join them. Could you move if had to?

2

I wouldn't mind dating a Quaker.

i wouldn't mind a date!

4

How about starting a local meet up on Sunday mornings (to avoid trouble with the flock) at a cafe or park maybe. Ensure the cafe owner is OK with your godless ways first. Perhaps you'll draw out like minded people in your community who may think they're alone as you do. Vive la revolution!

5

I’m seriously considering a relocation to California so that I can meet more like minded women. That said, until that position opens up at my company, online dating sites are my antidote to the issue you stated. While they have their own frustrations, at least you can search for candidates based on their religious preferences. In fact, in addition to meeting avowed atheist on those sites, I’ve actually met many so called β€˜spiritual’ women who are more/less atheist. Even in Houston, their are tons of what I call β€˜Pre-atheist.’

7

The first line of my dating profile states clearly that I’m agnostic, that if they want β€˜god fearing’, to scroll. Half the first messages I get mention god, god fearing, gods plan, etc.
I don’t answer anyone who clearly hasn’t bothered to read my profile.

2

I would move!

5

I'd move - and did, from Florida.
But assuming you don't have or want that option....
Maybe look into your local freedom from religion group...or meet up.com....you aren't the only one out there, just may take some time to connect.

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