What a terrible, terrible accident, and I am so sorry for your loss. I believe, when we cross, that we go to a different plane of existence. I don't believe is no such as heaven or hell; there just 'is'. I have personal experience of animal companions and family who have made their presence known, to believe otherwise. So, I believe the people you knew are together.

The things about us that are of value: love, deep awareness, gratitude, appreciation, free will, those things live forever through our collective self. Bodies are just robots, temporal by design. Sense of self as a separate entity might be just an illusion.

Every second of conscious awareness is an amazing gift. So sorry for your loss.

I'm very sorry for your loss and also so happy you experienced such joy from two people!!

There are times I wish there were an afterlife I could see people I love in. But I won't. This is the only shot we have. Treasure those who are near you. Be grateful you have had experiences you can look back and smile on.

I'm guessing the pain will still be there. I couldn't imagine moving forward without it. But I can only hope, and wish, that time will make it less painful for you.

Think of the happy times. Take comfort in that.

Best,

I am always grateful for special people in my life. Yet, they always move on in one way or another. That doesn't stop me loving them for who they were and what they taught me.

Sorry that was Rainbow Bridge

I think the expressions you have felt are typical of grief. The best way, from my experience is to cry it out. If no luck there maybe a good councillor. There is also Tainbow Bridge, a Norfolk Legend May give you some peace. It is mainly for if you have lost an animal but I think it might help you

Sorry for your loss (and it is a loss, even though not a family member).

It's true that religious belief represents in part an attempt to make life something that it's not (fair, uniformly comprehensible, provided with guarantees, never any unwanted changes and nothing out of its "proper" place in the story arc, re-dos allowed in an afterlife, etc). It's true that you can feel a little better about something like this in the short run using religious ideology. But in my experience, it never holds up in the long haul.

My mother and oldest brother died "before their time" while I was a Christian, my prior wife died while I was deconverting, and my adult son died after I deconverted. I can tell you that as hideous as that last event was, it was not as bad as my faith of origin would have made it -- and I feel that I have some basis to make that comparison.

In particular, it was a pure loss, free of the useless "why" questions that my faith tended to pile on top of the loss itself: why now, why him, why me, why didn't god protect him as promised, what did he / I do wrong, and so on and so forth. Once you really, really understand that life is just shit happening, that it's not personal, or about you, or even particularly surprising ... it becomes much easier and less angsty to move through the grief process without a lot of pointless distractions. It's hard enough to make "sense" of a loss like that without also in addition having to make sense of the cognitive dissonance caused by god being asleep at the switch and/or sending mixed signals.

Finally if you really understand how long a time eternity is -- you will understand that an afterlife is no real comfort as every afterlife eventually, of necessity, becomes its own hell. Even assuming it's conveniently some sort of perfect version of life on earth. Also, if some deity couldn't make this life safe and sane for us, there's no reason to think it would make an afterlife any differently.

I would suggest focusing on what you have rather than what you don't -- namely, many years of quality service and friendship, the selfless example of a loving couple looking after each other, and the positive memories of those things that will always be with you. And be patient with the grieving process, it will take as long as it takes and it will come and go seemingly forever.