There are many wonderful comments here, so YAY! And I'm also blown away by the ones that seem to think that true friendship and sex are mutually exclusive as apposed to a building block from one to the other....or that taking the time to build a friendship first would take years and no romance would be involved. Ummm...Eeeek. It's not so black and whlte. It's really not that hard, but I guess it is for some people. There is such a thing as organically progressing through friendship into romance...like a touch or caress, or holding hands, or little kisses, and opening car doors, cooking a meal for someone, cuddling while watching a movie, a shoulder massage, and so on... When it's "right" and both parties feel safe and cared for, it always leads to "more". Put in the respectful, trust building effort, and reap the rewards of something genuine.

I'm leery of it. This dude I knew who thought we were closer of friends than we actually were tried to convince me to take it further on the grounds that one leads to the other and it was how his parents got together so it followed the he and I should, too. I was only just learning my own sexuality and was still very isolated in an abusive parental environment which resulted in my having very few contacts with the outside world, so I had to keep hedging around the subject for years, which got really stressful. Kinda left me a little weird about people insisting on a specific course a relationship 'should' take.

It also helps if you can laugh together; with each other and for each other. It important not to take ourselves too seriously.

I agree with this. I think friendship is the basis for any solid relationship. I mean...how can it not be? My ex told me one time that I was his wife...not his friend. I remember feeling crushed and basically shut out by that statement. How can you feel true companionship then? How can you learn to understand each other...to like each other? I want to genuinely like the person I'm with and need to feel a comadaradarie with them.

Friendship is the most important part. The sex part would be a strong second. ☺

Yes yes... love is a vague word but it does make us feel a connection and warmth. As a relationship progresses it might be even more loving to share phrases like, "I really love who you are", "I love that we are able to disagree", "I love when we argue but always find our way back to sharing ourselves with each other" "I love that we are equally committed to each other." Great post... it really is about being committed to a lasting relationship.

I think there are many variations to romantic relationships. I don't have an idealism about how it's supposed to work, because every relationship is different. Sometimes, getting to know someone before sharing intimate sexual fun is important but sometimes sex is a fun thing to share and friendship can grow from there. There isn't a right or wrong way for me. Sex is many different things. I'm not possessive about my partner when I am secure about their love for me. Jealousy is just a reaction to fear of losing something. I don't have that fear. If someone wants to be with me they will. And if they don't want to, I would hope they would say so. I'm an adult and can get through anything.

I'm not searching for my life partner, but that doesn't mean it can't or won't happen. I think searching for that creates a lot of expectations that cause disappointments. I'm more of a pragmatist that looks at the situation and then chooses, at the time, what works for me . If the woman agrees, then we have a start to a relationship to grow from.

Platonic relationships where there's no real sexual tension are a little rare but totally different from romantic relationships or even friendships where one person is looking for a chance that will likely never happen.

A female friend who is married and I have talked about this at length. Our friendship has no sexual tension and we established that before we were good friends. I know her husband, but not nearly as well as I know her. She met my last girlfriend and I valued her insights into our relationship bc she cares for me and understands women differently than I can.

I think part of the issue is semantics. "Friendship" has a specific meaning but can have various connotations;
Purely platonic
One person wanting more
Not quite dating but both are open or wanting to date
The various levels of intimacy in friends with benefits to a LTR committed relationship.
Plus lots of other meanings

Long term romance will have more layers than just sex or they wouldn't last and generally speaking relationships that have those layers of intimacy, care for the other, effective and flexible boundaries...don't have issues around sex. As one of my few remaining Christian friends who has had an awesome 26 year marriage says, when everything else goes well the sex is natural.

It is certainly a good indicator of whether or not you and a prospective spouse would be able to communicate, which is an essential tool for the hard times in a relationship.