Anyone else going through the parent-care stage? I usually share the responsibility with my sister, but she and her family are on a two-week holiday. My mom doesn’t require that much stuff - basically making sure she eats and takes her meds...but she make-a me crazy! Or crazier.
4
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Yes, for several years until my mom died last August at 100 yrs old. I stayed with her about one weekend per month. She had colitis, never had a solid bowel movement, was very clear mentally, but totally incontinent for the last couple of years. She could not dress or undress by herself, or take care of her own sanitary needs, but did not want my help.
If your aging parent has the means to move to independent or assisted living while still able, strongly encourage it. DIY elderly care is stressful for everyone involved.
MikeEC
Level 7
May 30, 2018
3
I have two adult sons. I have instructed them to leave my care to people who are paid to see to it. I don't want them to change their own lives because I can no longer care for myself. I'm sure it will be difficult, regardless of which faculties I lose control of first.
Deb57
Level 8
May 30, 2018
3
Absolutely right.
I’m right there with you brother… I’m in Florida and the sole caregiver for my mom with dementia… My sister is in New York, She helps by handling some of the bills online but for the most part she just feels bad that she can’t be here... i do it all but I’m glad I can. My mom is a retired opera singer who still has one piano student… I’m not sure how much longer that will last. I’m also a single dad and I have my kids three days a week, I work full time plus teach guitar and make every effort to have a social life. Yes, moms can make us crazier
My sister says I’ve secured my place in heaven… But I take that with a grain of salt because she works in a Catholic Church, oy.
ArdentAtheist
Level 8
May 29, 2018
3
I feel ya. My mom also had Dementia before she passed in 2014. This is tough to deal with. You're a good son, but I'm sure everyone tells you that.
Yes, I live with and am a caregiver to my 87 year old disabled father.
seaspot_run
Level 7
May 29, 2018
3
I can already tell that I drive my 30 something yrs children crazy when I speak or need help. its really quite embarrassing. if I reach a point where I cannot live alone, I will never live with any of them
springlover
Level 7
May 29, 2018
2
I remember my mom telling us that she was paying for long-term care so that she wouldn't be a burden on her kids. The fact is, she loves being a burden on her kids and refuses to be a burden on the home health workers she already paid for. I suppose we could insist, but y'know, she's our mom.
@Hermit Yep. That's typical. Don't forget she's probably from the generation that cleaned the whole house before the maid showed up because she didn't want the maid to think she wasn't a good housekeeper.
@seaspot_run Maybe her generation, but that was never her. Our house was always super messy.
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