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As time passes my reservation become more standoffish to even attempt a date. The complication seem to out weigh the benefits. Is this normal to have reverse feelings? After almost 5 years being alone seems that in the emotional hermit state I am in it is almost a comfort for me.

azzow2 9 May 31

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That's good brother. I'm kind of a people person. I didnt realize this until I got hook on the friends from AA. And then NA. Then Alanon. I attended these groups for awhile. Learned a lot about me and people in general. It became a thing with me. Started going to weekend retreats at camps where it covered room and board. I got out there and met people. I found people like me to talk to. It got easy to talk to anybody. I've even spoke about me at different events. I met my wife in Texas at a retreat. I'm from Louisiana. 7 months later married. She retired her job and moved in with me. Shes been retired for 8 years. I just retired. It's just me, her, and 2 dogs. I like the company and love. It's good to have a spouse to go places with and to sleep with. Someone to make your coffee in the morning. Ask you if your hungry. Shes so happy. Turning on music in every room. I watch another human enjoying life and bouncing around the house. Playing with the dogs.
Where am I going with this? Please don't let love and happiness pass you by. You may be happy being single. Would it be nice to share this happiness with a special friend that would admire and adore you? Someone to make a soup for you when your sick. A love that will rub your back when its sore?

Seems to me that the majority of people do not have lasting constitutions (a heart of an eagle they can`t weather a storm of life events) superficial hearts. I know the strong-willed exist they are most likely taken my reserve, on a state of mind to protect your emotions build a wall and preserve you heart for things that truly deserve them.


I'm finding that I quite enjoy being alone. I tried the "dating" thing after my divorce years ago and settled for a relationship that wasn't quite right for me/us and now that I've ended that, everyday I spend on my own, without the stress of someone inserting himself into my life, I feel so happy. Every morning I wake up and feel my freedom... it's lovely.

If I was to come across someone just right for me, throughout the course of doing things I like to do anyway, that would be great. But I'm not going to go too far out of my way looking for a relationship, or trying to make something fit that simply doesn't.

It's okay to be alone - as long as you are making yourself happy. Finding someone else who enhances your own happiness would be the icing on the cake.


It's normal. It's twenty years for me.


I feel the same. It would take a Herculean effort to get past my reserve at this point and I don't see that happening. I don't really have an answer for you but you aren't alone.


If you are comfortable in your own shoes, stay there. If not, take a chance ?

Do I know how to be alone, the answer is yes. Think if I had to put it in writing my answer would be close to Julie808 the answer above you.

Thats been my philosophy for the last 35 years ! Lol

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