How do YOU - Distract yourself and move on ?? And what are you feeling at this time ?
Distract yourself and move on. Go out with someone new you really like. Just for the sake of pleasure, fun and joy. No strings or emotions attached. No whirls in your head, just enjoy your fling. If you can do it without getting involved, it will work. It worked with me.
I wish I could but I am unable to be with someone and not get attached. I actually just met someone 2 weeks ago and already I cannot stand to be away from him. Relationships are my addiction unfortunatley. Only if the other person feel the same does this work for me. I don't really know how to date. Never have. Thank you for the advice though. It's a great idea
Is the lose of a spouse equal in Death or Divorce? Long time marriages with the wife dying,is that similar to a horrible Divorce,loosing everything you hoped and worked for?
I believe Divorce IS the death of a life - yes. Someone slowly dying ? Well at least you know they didn't CHOOSE to leave . They were involuntarily TAKEN from you. Although still extremely painful !
I was born with a broken heart.... I am starting to believe it's kind of numb for good now
@Akfishlady shall we restart Sargent Pepper Lonely Hearts club one more time? Free membership, how about that? ??
@IamNobody Good idea. ( I hate being numb )
@flowerchild62 Let's do this !!! ??????
Going on 3 months now, since I broke off an 8 year relationship. Even though I was the one to break it off (due to a misstep by him) I still mourn the relationship. Especially certain days. Today was his birthday, so he was on my mind most of the day. I busied myself by working on me.
I went for a long swim and an even longer bike ride, then danced a bit of hula, as that takes some concentration. Figuring some exercise and focusing on good form is a step toward keeping depression away, and might also enhance my muscle tone to maybe attract a better partner. Not that I'm looking really, but if "the one" comes along, I'll be ready!
Good for you !
I don't do heartbreak. Life is too short for that crap and there are too many fish in the sea.
I'm a big believer in the notion that the best way to get over someone is to get under somebody else. I'll stay with someone until they elect to move on, and when they do I'll simply go find someone else to share my bed with me.
It just doesn't happen that way for me ( Lucky for you though )
For me it is music. Not sure what your issue is, but it has helped in more ways than one can imagine.
@Stacey48 I whole heartedly agree! Music is universal. Even if you don't know the language. My cats will usually be calm if I put on some classical. They form kind of a little kitty mosh pit if I throw on something like Slayer! Cats even get it!
@Stacey48 I don't think you do. My cats have claws! One is manic!
@Stacey48 Seriously the one cat attacks herself so bad, that she hurts herself, and I have blood on my walls, which is hard to get off.
In the meantime, here's a christian mosh pit. If you don't laugh, we can't be friends. lol
@TheGreatShadow Bust a moooove!
My antiquity, my birthright, my archetypes....??....dear soul, look to those who've remained behind in your consciousness. Whenever the conscientious unemotionally pulls up a negitive or uncomfortable slide or picture, click your button to change that one for now. Conjur up the self that remembers YOUR recollection of "home" "warmth" "comfort", whatever that is.
Now with that slide, open your eyes and dwell in that slides legacy's.... because that little fond memory we just conjured.....is full of other hidden, warm, safe reasons why we're here, right now.......
Now look in your mirror. Tell that slide, your reflection's advice kid???
I do this. Trying to get better at changing the channel though. ( Very well said ) TU
It comes and goes. Just trying for one day at a time.
That's what I tell myself - One day at a time !
It's definitely one of the worst things to go through short of some horrible disease. I used to escape through reading novels. I haven't been able to focus enough to do that, so I switched to comic books (graphic novels). I also started trying to learn to play guitar. Vigorous exercise is good, too. But sometimes I just sit around and feel miserable. It's not my first broken heart, so I know from experience that I'll eventually feel halfway normal again.
Good answer. At least we know it will eventually pass.
Drugs and alcohol?
Yep - A little bit of that too LOL
@flowerchild62. Worth a shot. ?
Have a fucking good cry and move on. you can't change what is.
Life will be different from now on perhaps because of the actions and decisions of others...so start a different life in a way that reflects what -you- want to do in order to help take your power back. Stop contact once any combined issues are taken care of. Stay busy so those punishing and incessant thoughts have to fight for airtime. Healthy classes or activities help crowd out the negative, builds self esteem and keeps you looking in another direction...which mindfullness shows will re train your thought process over time. Put one foot in front of the other down a road...any road. You can always take the next exit if it isn't productive for you. Difficult yes, as you're attempting to yank that arrow out of your heart, but the sooner you arrange your new reality...the sooner you can get over the hump and move on down the path and philosophy you've chosen for yourself.
Well said - TU
Go to the bar and have a beer !
OR Martini - yes
@flowerchild62
Why stop at one. Lets party ?
The best way to get over a broken heart is to go out and find another love.
It might be the easiest, but I would say it's one of the least healthy ways.
@BlueWave : Why is that?
@dare2dream It does not allow the space and time for healing.
@dare2dream If we don't feel the hurt now, it will haunt you later. Ignoring something does not make it go away or get better.
@flowerchild62 : I just don't believe that. I just let it go.
It's so difficult. Distraction isn't something that comes easily when the entire rug has been yanked out from under you. It can be like somebody died, and in a way, somebody did.
Yes! Take the word grief.....
grief
Now, did I attach anything to it?
No.
So how do we know what's being grieved?
We don't.
Only God does.....???
@StephD and by GOD - you mean ??