Isn’t it strange how life seems backwards?
People that strive for something for some reason always gets the opposite of what they were reaching for. For example, I’ve known people who always wanted success and fame and no matter how much they tried, hey still would never rise to success. Yet I’ve heard of people who wasn’t looking for fame turn out or be famous. I’ve heard stories of women who never planned for families, yet end up with them, but I’ve known of women who’s biggest dream was to be a mother and for some strange reason wasn’t able to have their own family. I never understood why life seems so backwards. What is your take on this?
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.This may well be the case at times, no doubt, but one has to watch for "confirmation bias" here. Most often "success" seems to go to those that push for it, rather than falling in one's lap unwanted. &, yes, you can say some women that didn't "want" a child get pregnant, well, they obviously had unprotected sex w/out benefit of birth control, so,...Also, many women do plan for children, & have them, but, unfortunately, some who wish kids have different medical conditions that can prevent it.
phxbillcee
Level 10
Dec 30, 2017
0
My take is that we are all the subjects of an alternate world created by AI and manipulated like the pieces on a chess board.
ReadyforaChange
Level 7
Dec 30, 2017
0
Its certainly not god's will. Luck pure and simple.
sassygirl3869
Level 9
Dec 26, 2017
2
Lol flat out luck from the Universe when she bothered to care. I love saying that joke.
There is a difference between wanting something and actually getting it. It reminds me of the joke about a man praying to God for him to win the lottery. Eventually after many years God relents and speaks to the man directly and says "OK here's the deal,but first please meet me half way and just buy a damn ticket"
It's not the wanting that counts its the meeting half way that does, you have to make some effort to make steps towards what you want,just sittting and waiting will not get you there.
Okay there are some exceptions, but you can increase your own odds in this life.
VinceRichardson
Level 6
Dec 26, 2017
2
I am one of those women who knew she would be a mother from an early age. Now that I am approaching my mid-thirties I have come to realize that having children may or may not happen for me. It saddens me that neither of the men I fell in love with in my twenties wanted to have kids, but I have a lot of other accomplishments to be proud of that might not have been possible had I had children. It is hard to let go of dreams, but sometimes it's ok!
LuckyTracey
Level 3
Dec 26, 2017
2
Why not be the mother to someone else's children? You need not to be the biological parent, in a relationship with one or even involved with the parent(s). Motherhood is the act of unconditional love through care and guidance that shapes the life of a child. I am the defect father of a friend of mine's daughter I never slept with her mother but, I have always been the constant in her life there is no reason that you can not do this for a child.
It is good you got through it and just accepted things for how they are. That takes a strong person.
@HeathenFarmer I understand what you're saying and admire you for what you are doing for your friend and her child, but opportunities like that are not common. My ex-husband and I cared for his best friend's teenage children after he passed from cancer, but to us we knew we would never replace their father. Opportunities to be in a child's life can happen, however, the extent is (rightfully) controlled by the parents and is not up to me. I am an aunt to three nephews and a niece, and would welcome the chance to be a stepmother to someone else's child. I may still, it just hasn't happened yet!
@EmeraldJewel Thank you for your kind words!
In my life when I have received recognition it has never been because I was seeking it; it is because I worked passionately for or towards something I believed in without the goal of reward. I recommend to anyone stop wasting time on seeking things from living your life and instead live every moment to the fullest and expect nothing; in doing so you will never be disappointed and always be satisfied with the outcome.
HeathenFarmer
Level 8
Dec 26, 2017
3
I’m going to have to take a snapshot of this comment and keep it as a reminder. This really hit home.
HF: Tho you did not actively seek recognition, working passionately towards that goal increased the odds that you would achieve recognition. I agree that the goal should be living the best life one can, but often talent, drive, or, for lack of a better word, "genius" brings recognition, entirely sought for or not.
there's a lot of things in life too that are the opposite of what you imagine
LeighShelton
Level 8
Dec 26, 2017
1
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