Agnostic.com

12 2

What's your best atheist joke?

BD66 8 Oct 9
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

12 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

0

God gave us his only son. So WTF was He doing with all His daughters?

0

The other night a group of people knocked on my door.
When I opened it they said "We have some religious material we would like to share with you"
I looked at it and said "This paper is blank"
They said 'I know. We're Athiests"

BD66 Level 8 Sep 2, 2021
0

How are you

0

Bit of a rude one ... Thanks to the late , great Christopher Hitchens .
What's the biggest disadvantage of being an atheist ?
Answer
' No one to talk to when receiving a blow job '

0

A man sees a boy with a box of kittens The man goes over and says "Oh what cute kittens!" The boy replies "Yes they are Christian kittens". About a week later the man sees the boy again with the same batch of kittens. Once again he walks over and says "my, those are just adorable!" The boy replies "Yes, they are atheist kittens" The man asks "wait, weren't they christian before?" The boy looks at the man and says "Yeah but they have their eyes open now"

1

Why did Jesus go to the beauty salon?

To get his nails done.

1

How do you fleece sheep?

Pass around the plate.

2

Blasphemy is a victimless crime.

7

I heard they just opened an atheist shoe store.

Apparently they have no soles

ha-ha!

This is not a joke:
There's a wine store in one of Manila's entertainment districts called "High Spirits" studded with pictures and posters of religious icons and crucifixes of various makes and sizes. After several "fly-byes" from motorcycle-riding gunmen firing at will, it closed shop in less than a month.

3

If you don't worship an all loving god, he'll torture you forever?

An all loving god will not say that, do you believe? So, what kind of god will give that warning? Come on, be irrational sometimes, God won't punish you for that. You're only human. Humans are not perfect . . . makes me wonder, we were by God, from His own stuff. We are one with God. And God is perfect! hhhhhhmmmm

8

Q: What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness?
A: Somebody knocking at your door for no reason.

Q: What do you can an intelligent American?
A: An atheist.

Q: How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to actually change the bulb and the other to videotape it so the fundamentalists won't claim that god did it.

Q: Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
A: Because they don't believe in higher powers.

10

Here's a good one:

Q: What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do?
A: Stays awake all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

BD66 Level 8 Oct 9, 2017

That was funny. Sad thing is that took me 5 seconds before I got that. My excuse is it's 1:30am and I'm sticking to it.

Old one but a good one!

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:1116
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.