After 8 weeks on the site I've made some great friends but as far as meeting a guy for long term everyone wants to meet someone in their backyard. Am I right? Please some feedback.
I moved south from Iowa to live on the beach and 3 seasons spring summer fall. No such thing as winter in Charleston 2005 but climate change is sucking cold in from outer space and driving the arctic antarctic towards the tropics FREEZING MY ASS off 2 weeks here in Myrtle Beach. ....if love won't move here to keep me warm I shall move back for a snow angel somewhere NORTH where I can hunt mushrooms and grow good food in black dirt. ...the weather gawd Thor is as deaf to my prayers is is Cupid. ....many retirees are "snowbirds" living south December to May flying back to Greens and autumn leaves with Maple Syrup. ...but only the couples I envy being single is shit without my SERVICE CATS KITI&LAILA daily inspiring me to joy and tenderness
Yes, when the time comes that I am open to a relationship, they would have to live within 40 miles of me. (For me to go 40 miles around here, it takes 50-70 minutes, depending on the time of day, etc.)
Beyond those 40 miles, for me, it would be a long distance relationship and I couldn't hang.
Having traveled under a million miles I can understand the fears people have closing long distances AND too many people seek polyamory secretly dishonest about their intimate contacts. ....people our age should be mobile with friends family and colleagues scattered throughout the world eager to be together again. ...my 2nd day on this site and I hope to see again Atheists I know since 1966 coming out of my McCarthyism closet then
I was involved in a "long-distance relationship" for several years. We would normally connect online, engage in playing online games, video conference with each other, engage in cybersex, and talked from time to time about how to make it a "normal" relationship. I visited her in Ontario (Canada) once or twice a year and she visited me in California about once a year.
It was a lot of fun for a long time, especially when we got together. Our trip to Niagara Falls was quite memorable, as was her trip to California coupled with our excursion to Las Vegas.
There is nothing wrong with having a long-distance relationship. Traveling to each other's location periodically helps to keep it "real," but ultimately the distance becomes a burden. You're still sleeping alone, even if you keep the cameras on. You still come home to an empty house. You still cook for one, not two. Differing time zones introduces additional challenges (in my case, I was in the Pacific time zone and she was in the Eastern time zone -- a 3 hour difference.)
If you are unwilling to relocate yourself, then you need to make sure the other person is willing to relocate to you. Unless one or the other is willing to relocate, then ultimately the realization that the relationship will always be long-distance sets in and continuing in the relationship quickly begins to feel like a futile endeavor.
As you get older (I'm 62), often we have commitments (baggage to some). We may have children or grandchildren nearby which we aren't willing to leave behind. Long-term jobs, old friends, even a preference in climate can influence whether to leave or stay. When I was younger, originally from Oklahoma, I left and went to Africa for 15 years doing Aid work. About 4 years ago I uprooted again and came here to Colorado. Moving around is always filled with unknowns but I can't say that I regret a single re-location. They have all help shape who I am.
"geographically undesirable" is a real thing. Especially if both parties are solidly planted where they live.
Though it's more a matter of finding those that are willing to move if things are right.
As we know nothing is truly impossible if people want it bad enough.
As for myself, I have a general limit of about 50mi. That's a mighty big circle full of people in my region !
It's because a lot of people do not want to do long distance. I'm a person who requires physical connection when in a relationship so I gotta have those cuddles and kisses. I just wish there were guys around my age that lived around here that were not religious. I'm not trying to date someone who is my uncle's age (34). It's a bit weird.
From my perspective, you are right.
I live very close to Seattle. I just looked at a dozen or so matches on OkCupid. Most of them didn't identify a religious affiliation, 1 Jew, 4 Christians, and the rest were atheists or "other religion". Only one woman said religion was important to them.
If feasible, try moving to a more progressive community. Left coast or a college town perhaps? Good luck! I'd never live in Trump country / bible belt.