I know it seems obvious to say, but I think one of the most difficult parts of a relationship is that people don't communicate. They either don't take time to think about how to talk to one another before blurting out something that is taken in a way they don't mean, or alternately don't give a person time to clarify. Or maybe they do things out of spite.

Or worse, they just don't talk about things to begin with and just hold it in (which I think is because of an aversion to conflict). When this guy says people will avoid conflict if they can, he's totally right. People seem to be real bad at dealing with conflict and nobody seems to want to allow people the opportunity to make the little mistakes, so they hide them until they erupt into big problems.

As far as staying in a relationship, I think a lot of that depends on the beginning strength of it. If it seems like we fight a lot, I would probably never take it to the level of marriage. I am very discerning about who I spend time with. That said, I don't believe romance has to be monogamous, and if monogamy doesn't seem like the right fit for a particular relationship I'm in, there would be a conversation.

yep it takes tonnes of hard work and compromise and a fair amount of tongue biting but total commitment is the only way I can figure

I don’t know if I believe in divorce. It makes me wonder if I believe in marriage anymore. 10 years of her untreated emotional trauma killed my love. For 10 years, I waited for her to tell me something and the night she told me, I felt nothing. I think 3 months earlier, before I had moved out of the bedroom, if she had said it, we’d be married and closer than ever. Regardless, after spending a decade waiting, I had to be the one to file for divorce. In court, the judge asked me why and I said “we’ve grown apart” and the judge said that’s not a valid reason and asked for more. “For 10 years, she has told me she was in love with someone else.” That was enough for the judge. The statement I was waiting for wasn’t even that she wasn’t in love with this other person, but that I could be enough. That her heart could be whole with just me. So, who am I to judge? I understand commitment. I understand what it means to stand by someone in spite of everything. But as others have said here, there is more to love and relationships. Do not enter into one or leave one lightly is my way now. If I meet the right person and they want marriage, I’d be game, but they’d need to understand what that means to me.

Your abuse is another person's fetish lol. Physical and/or emotional. I think some people have fetishes and DON'T EVEN KNOW IT! I know women who have not announced it, but i see that they like submitting to men, even when the man cheats, lies, abuses, etc etc etc. Of course a lot of women are just scared to leave, but I have met women who have had the opportunity to leave, and they start making excuses. I digress though lol

Relationships change. A lot of people are putting their best foot forward in the beginning, or before you start to live with each other. I believe so many marriages end in divorce or misery because most of those people were just wearing masks to begin with. A lot of people also don't look at real compatibility factors. Ever hear someone say they are really into someone because they are "exciting" or "name anything else here" that's pretty superficial. Well, those aren't real characteristics of what you should look for in a partner if you want it to last. At least I don't think so. All relationships slow down at a certain point. If you based it on superficial compatibility factors then of course it's not going to last.

I don't think you should stay with somebody "just because". I've heard all the excuses. "We invested so much into it already" or "we did it for the kids". FOR THE KIDDDDS!!!!!

I don't believe in being devoted to someone who proves themself to be toxic to me, in any type of relationship.

Sorry but I didn't agree that stepparents are lousy parents. My home health aide Emily andher partner Cord are a contradiction to his theory. She has two sons from 2 fathers. She and the father of her 2 year old have been together for four years. The father has two other sons from 2 other mothers and takes full responsibility for them. One of the mothers is a decent motherrbut the second one leaves the child with strangers and is neglectful. She has already lost custody of an
older boy to his grandparents. Now Cord and Emily are fighting for custody of the boy. This mother Emily has taken on responsibility for 2 boys that are not hers. Disagree with his theory.

Mmm... I kind of disagree - but hear me out.

As people age and mature, their priorities change and sometimes a couple can grow apart and the nature of the relationship changes. Once the passion has gone and people slip into routines living almost separate lives, you need to ask yourselves 'Is this worth saving?'

I have been fortunate, I am in a great relationship at present and have been fortunate enough to move on from previous relationships without animosity and in a really positive way - positive enough for my wife and I to meet up with my ex and her husband for dinner when we are in the locale. I also have a good relationship with the mother of my child and my first wife.

It is important to remember the good times and not focus purely on the things that aren't working .Take time to talk, but don't be afraid of change and be honest. If something isn't working for one, then chances are, it isn't working for both.

The reasons why people separate or divorce are usually self-evident and do not require study. However, a more fruitful course would be an exploration of why people stay together. Walking out every time there is a disagreement is a reluctance to deal with the issues. Is it not odd that when people separate or divorce they may end up consulting a lawyer, a psychoanalyst or priest but nobody would think of consulting all them (excepting the priest) before getting married?. I’m not saying or advocating that a person should consult any of the above..