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Have you divorced because you don't believe?

I heard a person say that his wife left him because he told her he did not believe in god. Has anything like this happen to you?

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By BucketlistBob8
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14 comments

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1

I’ve wrestled with doubt for years, a lot of which my former Young Life leader STBX either never understood or outright dismissed, but I’ve essentially told her that she is welcome to dismiss me as a non-believer if she needs a justification for the divorce for her new church group friends. She initiated the divorce requests for other reasons, mainly involving me not being enough of a social butterfly to listen to retail talk by schmoozing potential consultant partners for hours on end and being a wet blanket at one Christmas party 15 years ago.

Brio77 Level 5 Jan 9, 2018
1

I married and divorced a Mormon lady. I stsrted to dislike her because of her intolerant attitudes, not specifically because she was Mormon. She believed the story of the golden tablets, and nothing could convince her otherwise. She slapped her daughter because the daughter disrespected her grandmother. She contributed $3000 to prop 8 in calif against gay marriage.

Donwelty Level 4 Jan 9, 2018
1

No I haven’t been divorced but my wife of 42 years and I have agreed not to discuss religion as she is somewhat religious and I am a strong atheist. I don’t go to church with her anymore and she doesn’t press me to go. We just recognize that people have their differences and religion is one of ours so everything is going great. However she is by no stretch a religious fanatic like some people I know who seem to put their religion above their family or it might not go so well.

Trajan61 Level 8 Jan 9, 2018
1

Never a divorce since we were not married but, her being catholic and her mother disapproval that I was not one and an atheist to boot was a large part of why we never married. The relationship eroded as she changed from an agnostic former catholic to a full time practicing one. Over the last few years of the relationship she had to brain surgeries; one for an inter cranial bleed and one to repair another aneurysm. Although she did not loose a lot of memory or intellect she did exhibit a flatten affect that effected her ability to make decisions and the ability of others to influence her. her.

1

Not married, just a relationship.

2

No, my ex wife is an agnostic. We just kinda grew apart.

3

I left my wife because she was abusive. She always accepted that I was not a believer. So.. it was not my main reason.

MrLizard Level 8 Jan 8, 2018
2

No... but we're still very much in the middle of working this out. Hopefully, my answer never changes to a "yes", but I'm less than 100% sure it won't. But if that were to happen, the change of religion would be more a straw on a camel's back than a saber through a heart.

Rhetoric Level 7 Jan 8, 2018
2

No, my ex is catholic, as is her family, it did cause some disagreements,but I divorced because she is a nasty cow who is mean to my (our) kids. However last year a relationship was ended because I am not religous, her call. Funny, I have not seen her for a year, and she will be here in an hour for me to meet her grandson who is visiting.

3

Yes, I am in the middle of a divorce right now because of this.

We were both in ministry at one point or another, and my deconversion this year caused so much tension in how we talk to the kids about religion, what kind of music we listen to (before it was all Christian), what kind of movies we watch (I no longer had a problem with movies that had sex/violence/cursing, but she couldn't stand having me watch them), the fact that she felt awkward sitting in church alone or going to small group by herself since I no longer went, and more.

But the final straw was when we had a major decision to make about moving. Neither of us like the area we live in, I can work from anywhere, we both agreed that our kids would be much better off growing up elsewhere, plus a long list of other reasons to move. But she wanted to take weeks to pray about it and read her Bible before making a decision. Afterward, she came back and said she did not feel like God was calling us to move. I explained how I can't accept making major life decisions on that premise any longer, and she said that was non-negotiable and she could no longer be married to me if I couldn’t accept prayer and Bible reading as guides for her.

ouch

I don't see how any marriage could recover from that.

Thank you for your story brother.

I hope you get custody of the kids they should not be raised in that toxic of a cult environment

2

Yes, but I was the one who asked for a divorce. Why? Because he pulled away after I became an unbeliever. At one point he even remarked that we were "unequally yoked."

wow, have never heard that term before, but you are better off not being with someone who has a problem with who you are.

I first heard that term when I was married to my first husband. I was 19, he was 28, both in the Army, working together, and working rotating shifts. He was a Kentucky farm boy, his family raised hogs and tabaccy. I was a small town Nebraska girl. He remarked offhandedly that his church was not happy that he married a non Baptist. We were "unequally yoked." He had sleep apnea and started smoking because he thought it would help him stay awake at work. We were married for less than 2 years, there was more stupid shit going on than any one marriage could hold.

@Rugglesby Straight out of the Bible and taught in the pulpits:

New International Version:
"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

English Standard Version:
"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"

@Rugglesby " but you are better off not being with someone who has a problem with who you are."

Indeed. I have no regrets.

"He remarked offhandedly that his church was not happy that he married a non Baptist."

@HippieChick58 The Roman Catholic Church is the same way, although my ex is Southern Baptist.

I'm glad you don't have any regrets over your decision, but I'm sorry you had to go through it in the first place.

@BackToReality I really appreciate your comment. smile001.gif

4

No. But me being an atheist and her being quite religious played a large factor. The biggest factor was me not thinking and ignoring obvious differences between us, and getting married anyway.

Rudy1962 Level 9 Jan 8, 2018
2

No but after I left my husband after 16 years he had a breakdown and married a Holy Roller.

2

No, at the time of the divorce I was still trying to be a christian and he still thinks he is a christian.

yeah, I understand what you mean by "trying to be a christian".

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