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New to the group.

Just still finding my footing after years of Catholicism. Didn't know if there are any ways to negotiate my new life with old friends? Is there a good way to ask for thief understanding of my decision? Thanks for any help!

Sleaton31 2 Jan 13

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10 comments

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0

just let them know who you are and to leave things that are not in your interest out of your friendship or kick them to the curb.

0

just let them know who you are and to leave things that are not in your interest out of your friendship or kick them to the curb.

1

If your friends can't respect your new way in life....may be is time to make new friends.

3

I can share what I've done. If I'm asked why I no longer go to church (for example), I'm honest. I don't go into any detail unless they ask. You learn who your true friends are real quick. Welcome to the community. Don't hesitate to reach out here if the ride gets a bit bumpy.

2

Welcome and enjoy!

2

Just do like the priest do and avert the question. Tell them your have an a epiphany and it has set you free.

0

Welcome! As someone who lived in Lubbock for several years, I know it can be a tough environment for anyone who falls outside of religious orthodoxy. Anyway, the one point I'd make about this is that asking for their understanding presupposes that their beliefs are the norm (and they are to be unquestioned) and you are the "deviant" outsider. Which is not the case. I mean, maybe from a numbers standpoint, but certainly not from a logical standpoint. Anyone I consider my friend doesn't need to ask for my understanding or agreement in what they believe--and if these people are truly your friends they'll also simply accept you for who you are. If they don't, then they're not people worth having around in your life. This was one of the truths that was most difficult for me to wrap my head around when I finally ditched the shackles of religion and started taking stock of what was really important.

3

Just want to welcome you. I'm sure you'll get some great advice from former Catholics.

3

Yes, there is a way to ask for understanding. None of the options are comfortable, and only one of them is not long term self destructive. That one is simply this: Without expressing aggression or anger, explain to the individuals involved that you no longer can believe. That you have grown beyond that need and are now establishing your path in a new reality. Express to them your appreciation of their presence in your life and ask them if they feel they can accept you for who you have grown to be.

At this point, it gets tough. If they are hesitant or reject the notion altogether, your only option is to sever your connections with them to the extent that will produce the least pain for you in the long term. Some may have to be removed completely from your life. I am sorry, but there really is no other way. The most interesting thing about this dilemma is that the decision is completely theirs because you are willing to accept them as they are with the only conditions perhaps being to not push their beliefs at you. It is up to them to set the tone and the outcome. All you have to do is remain strong in your convictions and honest in your intentions.

3

welcome we are glad to have you

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