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When I came out as an atheist to my parents, my dad was okay with me being an atheist because he was a cultural Muslim. My mother was good with me being an atheist too, but that's what confused me because she told me she was a conservative Muslim and when I asked her about what her opinion was on gay marriage and abortion she told me that it should be legal but to me she sounds like a liberal. How do I tell her that she's a liberal without annoying her?

GodlessWahid666 5 Aug 16
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13 comments

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1

lol shhhh don't tell her! labels are not important. what she actually thinks and feels is more important.

g

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Why do you feel you have to define who she is to herself?

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It’s an interesting circumstance to find oneself in.

First off, congratulations on coming out and great to hear there were few hassles.

On the subject of your mother that’s interesting. People often construct themselves in a certain light to lend credibility to a view (e.g. I’m a fiscal conservative, therefore I’m good with money). Others do it as a cultural outlet (e.g. I was brought up in a conservative household and it’s worked well enough so far). Still it might just be a case where they have found a liberal angle to some issues while retaining strong historical ties to there biases/decision making in others.

That’s interesting though and quite a conundrum for how we might each classify our political philosophies.

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By the way, I never "came out" as an atheist. From an early age I snarled at anyone who mentioned religion, god, church etc etc. By the time I was eight, hardly anyone talked to me about any of that stuff. In junior high school I learned I was an atheist.

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Liberals, by nature are both annoyed and annoying. Actually, so are Conservatives. Libertarians are by far the most annoying and annoyed. It's the human condition. Stop worrying about it.

1

Don't tell her anything. Her views are liberal from what I can see. If I am allowed to make the assumption since both parents claim muslim heritage, that there is a mid-eastern background despite your living in the UK, she might still harbor reservations about that kind of label. She deserves the right to be as she chooses.

That said please encourage her to vote according to her views and not her labels, we got a Trump over here tearing the walls down and we need all the help we can get. You don't want the same.

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You don't we each live our own lives and tell ourselves our own lies just be grateful you have a good relationship with them why would you try to spoil that

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Maybe your mother is better and understanding the difference between "rules for me" and "rules for you" than the average religious person. Thinking something should be legal, and thinking that something is okay are two separate things

@GodlessWahid666 Since all pregnancy carries a non-zero risk of death then that covers them all.

3

I would say the best thing you could do about this is nothing. She is comfortable with how she sees herself. Both of your parents appear to have approached their lives and yours in a reasonable and rational manner, so why meddle when there is nothing but self satisfaction to be gained?

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Maybe try [politicalcompass.org]
The Political Compass is a label finder of sorts. Easy, free.

1

Way better than the opposite, if she claimed she was liberal but was against gay marriage and abortion. Seems to me that she is in a position to have some influence on her social group toward a more reasoanble position on things that matter.

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Your mother definitely sounds liberal so I am not sure except some exposure to other "liberals". I will confess ignorance to exactly what you mean by cultural Muslim.

6

Why do you need to tell her anything or force her to accept a label? I would just be happy that she has those opinions and let it be. At least they are good opinions!

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