All the time and there are so many variables and possibilities here. The norm should be to be yourself, first and foremost. Now, it can be done without being a jackass. Of course, there will be times when, as soon as you hit submit then you go "oh shit". If the hits average surpass the misses then it should be ok. Last but not least, you are absolutely correct, everything we say likely will have an impact on someone else. Good thing not everyone reads absolutely everything !! Very GOOD post @AMGT

I've finally learned to lead with my vulnerability; I restrain myself from an angry retort. I, lately, have been able to state what about the other person's behavior has triggered in me negative feelings.

I can find a repurposed use for many things. I build and rebuild stuff ...weld ...monkey wrench ...invent!

I prefer to preach to the Atheist tabernacle choir. Until I can debate as well as Hitch or Sam, I don't debate. If I'm going to speak againt religion or for Atheism, its only to those that have expressed an interest or at least a curiosity about reality, and then mostly refer them to YouTube's of Dawkins, Hitch, Harris, Dennit, Tyson, etc. as well as a wonderfully long list of Atheist comedians to do the heavy lifting.

Compromise on ideas other than facts works well also.

I have often been the silent audience. To me, it's about learning. Learning what to say and when to say it. Or not saying anything. I am very much a behaviorist. I have informed opinions that may seem offensive to those without a background in behaviorism. However, I often try to present my viewpoint in such a manner as to invoke thought. The basic function of stopping and thinking is unfortunately overlooked in and out of social venues.

In person, though, I admittedly have a tendency to "forget my filter" mostly by way of facial expressions.

It depends on my mood tbh. I get depression and can be quite a snipey commenter. If that’s the case I may come back and say sorry or make an attempt to understand them later. The other time I can be sharp is when I get very passionate about feminism, social justice, discrimination etc. That kind of shit doesn’t deserve well crafted comments of diplomacy. That stuff is pure zero tolerance for me. I have seen fellow atheists being very islamaphobic, sexist and so on. I find male arrogance the biggest trigger for a blast. Thing is, I am myself, and I don’t need to please anyone to have an opinion.

I agree with you 100%. I'm just not very good at it sometimes. That is why l have blocked about 65 people. It is easier. I am working on it.

Sometimes I play dumb. It gives them a chance to explain their position more fully, and usually exposes a fallacy at the root of their argument. And if it doesn't, then I guess I wasn't playing dumb, but I did find an opportunity to learn something. And I'll take every opportunity I get to learn something new.

Usually I'm a pit bull driving a dump truck and then start apologizing at some point.

Diplomacy is something that I have had to learn while working retail. ??? I get to practice on a daily basis I am by nature a sarcastic person, so it has been a real trip for me but it is a good thing.

I call it 'planting the seed' ( no sexual pun intended, i'm just naturally witty ?). Make a little statement directed towards no-one in particular that challenges their belief system and leave it to fester. Eventually they may come to believe it was their own original thought. I have done this on many occasions in many different scenarios. Another method is to take ownership in a placid way "I sometimes think if ..." Again you are asking someone to consider their beliefs without directly challenging them (which can provoke resistance).

Try to overcome my fear and self-doubt, stay calm, respond directly to what they say, be less accusatory and try not to verbally thump someone unless they REALLY deserve it. Using this site to improve these skills.

in a way it's the nonsense that makes it interesting. and I agree that the arrogance and condescension is a step away from persuasion and peace. ?

I try really heard to not be deliberately angry towards people I disagree with.

It can be better to move on than post a reactionary post. (Granted someone will come along who reacts!).

It's one thing to discuss and another to just create a huge argument. The argument is pointless if it doesn't lead to civil discourse. But that's just me.

This is beyond difficult. I'm trying to count to 10 before I respond, remain silent, stay off forums that I know are dead ends with people who are closed minded. I'm even trying to practice fiinding value in words. Sometimes what someone says inspires me to NOT act the way they do. So I still get something out of it. But it seems like it's getting tougher and tougher. The name calling, lying, spite and downright ignorance are depressing to watch. The art of conversation will most likely be extinct even before people.

It's good to have challenging arguments with anyone, on the other hand it's always good to know when to pull the plug.

That's a tough one. I can speak kindly about a lot of subjects, but politics works me up too much. I find it very hard to be polite and thoughtful when talking about it, and unless I'm talking to someone who basically agrees with me, I'd just as soon not talk about it at all.