How would you feel if you know the person you are dating has anxiety but the reason they are so happy with you is because you are less attractive and that reduces their anxiety because they only feel like they don't deserve better. You know they do.
Attractiveness is important to me but to make it complete its the outside made solid by a beautiful mind and a great heart topped off with LOVE! Noone is more beautiful and attractive than a partner that will meat you in the middle, face to face and eye to eye and make you feel complete!!
Okay so allot of questions came about and I will add more perspective on the situation. Both parties in the situation agree that the conventionally more attractive person is exactly that and they both agree that said person is more intelligent and morally a better person besides the fact of having insecurities and low self esteem. The person viewed as less constantly says these things. While the person viewed as more just sees how happy they are together and sees no difference.
Insecurity maybe rather than anxiety? I don't have a great problem with it, I really don't. The reasons we are attracted to people are many and varied, and surely feeling comfortable and safe in the relationship is a good reason. I am no Adonis, yet my lady friends tend to be more than average in looks most of the time. They are not with me for my looks, my ex wife and a few others attached because of my career, many because of my problem solving abilities, a couple for my compassion and knowing that i won't let them down. One would need to define "better" all things considered. And when in a relationship, shoudl one be constantly seeking something better? the newer model?
If they have anxiety and feel insecure or low self
esteem that means they are unhappy with themself. One will never find true happiness in any relationship, money, or possessions unless they are truly happy with themself first.
You'll be walking on eggshells if things go squirrelly... I wouldn't want that type of relationship, constantly looking over my shoulder...
Hey, their reasoning is probably more complex than that. They're happy with you. Focus on that. Insecurity can cause one to feel more comfortable with a partner who isn't super conventionally attractive to other's standards. Someone who has been hurt may view physical attraction differently. It very well could stem from a fear of being cheated on as well.
Are you sure you both aren't feeding your personal insecurities into this? I've dated conventionally attractive and unattractive people, and the only thing that made me feel happy and relaxed with them, is how they showed they cared about me. Some very handsome men made me feel that I am the queen, and some average guys made me insecure by lying and cheating behind my back. You know, it's not all about the facade.
Does not sound healthy...... nobody should feel inferior or Superior in a relationship it should be a partnership. We should enhance each other and build each other up and feel safe and good with the other person. Dealing with anxiety should come and some other form then dating someone beneath you or that you believe is beneath you. I would say that the person who believes themselves to be superior is probably not right.....
I don't care what I look like, I've never thought I was pretty or cared about it. I want to be accepted for who I am. If that makes me more attractive to someone I guess that is good. Beauty if in the eye of the beholder. I'd rather be a good person with great character, a smart, caring, loyal person than be a beautiful person who has no character, smarts, compassion, or empathy. The only thing I really care about looks wise is I don't want to scare small children.