Gert, I don't think character issues -- flaws, frailties, or whatever -- are at ALL related to what @tecolote and others are describing when referring to their experiences with people who have mental health issues. Did you not also discern that?

@BlueWave, you don't have to believe me, but I have been working in psychiatry, worked as a Social Worker and as a lawyer. All more or less related to people with issues. Everybody has mental issues. One more than another, but still. And it is part of someone's personality, because the issue is seldom caused by infection (sometimes it is, sometimes it's blunt trauma, sometimes other illnesses) and is present and often nurtured during growing up. Be sure, I don't count myself or my wife out. It is most of the time the question if the one and the other succeed in successfully working things out together. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. In a relation it is most of the time just a fact that both have shown not to be able to work things out. So, I would never point a finger at someone to determine who is to blame. But ……… metal issues sometimes are harder to master than walking through concrete. But parting after 12 years ……… I would be very interested in how such a partnership evolved and what actually caused the break and when it started. But sure enough, it's not of my business.

Thank you for your condolences. I'm more concerned for her son than myself. He lacks a formal education and is stuck with his literally insane grandparents. They blame me for her overdose, I don't blame myself. She didn't deserve death, but she chose it, there's nothing I can do to change that. There's nothing I did to cause it either.