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Where have all the good men gone?

Where have all the good men gone? I ask time and time again, where have they gone? Surely, there must be a few good men out there. What are your thoughts and if you know where they are hiding, please point me in the right direction. I would love to find one.

[thoughtsofanewyorkerblog.wordpress.com]men-gone/

sciteachmd 6 Jan 28
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17 comments

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Here is one take...

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I believe there are as many "good" men out there as there are "good" women.

They are not hiding. They are alive. They are kind and thoughtful and responsible and respectful and humorous and polite and generous and helpful and intelligent and trustworthy and nurturing and faithful.

The question is, where are you hiding that they cannot find you? What kinds of activities are you involved in that put you on the radar of those men?

Of course, the caveat is that if you are seeking an atheist, you've just whittled your population of good men down to only 670 men in all of the world. Eventually, you will find yours.

Be your best self, stay active and among people, keep your standards high and your expectations as low as possible without compromising your deal breakers. Eventually you'll meet one of those 670 good men.

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And where are all the Gods?

Footloose! LOL

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Sadly, often men are single for a reason.
According to John M. Gottman's famous study, successful long-term marriages have only one thing in common..husbands yield to their wives, and listen to them.
Men who find themselves constantly single or in serial relationships could have more (independent) female traits, so are not willing to yield to a woman.

See below:

Gottman, John M., and Nan Silver. (1999). “Principle 4: Let Your Partner Influence You,” in The Seven Principles for Making Marriages Work (Chapter Six, 100-127).

In Gottman’s long-term study of 130 newlywed couples, now in its eighth year, he found that, even in the first few months of marriage, men who allow their wives to influence them have happier marriages and are less likely to divorce than men who resist their wives’ influence. Statistically speaking, when a man is not willing to share power with his partner, there is an 81 percent chance that his marriage will self-destruct.

Gottman has found that the happiest, most stable marriages in the long run were those where the husband treated his wife with respect and did not resist power sharing and decision making with her.

Excellent article!

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Probably on the other side of the wall...

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They are taken as is suppose to be. Right?

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I know where One was hiding. If he has any like-minded friends, I'll be sure to pass the memo along. 😉

Sadoi Level 7 Feb 1, 2018

Thank you! How very kind of you!

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I live just outside Milwaukee!

Are you one of them?

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I know one but if I tell you where he is I might have to move him to a safe house.

Gee, only one?

yes ! Enough, is a feast as they say,

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What do you offer as a good woman.

The same qualities that I seek in a "good man" ... do you know where good men are hiding?

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Thank You! You are very kind. ????

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They're at work.

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Gone to soldiers everyone, when will they ever learn, when will they ever learn:,According to Peter, Paul and Mary. A good man is hard to find mainly because the best qualities of manhood conflict with the best instincts in a woman. Working through these differences over time is what eventually leads to committed relationship. Keep looking, keep trying, don't give up and try not to get hurt. Or you could get a nice dog and a couple of well behaved cats. Heat up some hot chocolate, gather a nice warm fuzzy blanket around you and curl up with shabby but well written romance novel. Fiction better than life, while living a non-fictional life even better.

Ahhhh, how sweet! Thank you for the kind words of encouragement.

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They are in the dating apps that people swipe LEFT on because they do not "look" fantastic on paper.

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There is no "place" to find certain people. If you're doing the online thing - it takes persistence and much patience. A sense of humor helps too !

If you're out in the world - do things that YOU enjoy doing, it increases your chances of running into someone else who enjoys the same thing. (Meetup.com) You need to put yourself in what I've heard called "a target rich environment' .

There are good people out there - but the trick is finding the one that fits you, that happens to be single at the same time you are. Not easy - but certainly possible ...

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Let's get down to it, I am NOT looking anymore. NO, oh, hell no. Good man? Okay, an understanding of himself, his age, and his member. If one is old and the pecker doesn't work, please face it before making it the problem of the woman. Let her try to make it wake up. Right? When does a MAN say, okay, I have something besides a dick. I have no idea. I dated a guy a while back, liked him, but.....if you are also marking your age as when you couldn't "pleasure" a woman, you're just dick led. If I ask you if you're HEALTHY and you say, "yes" that means, COPD, diabetes and a lot of other illnesses. Don't say, "Yes" and pretend to be healthy when you're not. "I'm healthy except for........diabetes, whatever", you're not. It just makes us think you are ALL disgusting.

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Okay, but what's a good man to you? How do you define it?

That is a very good question! I have a running definition or qualities that stand out. A good man is a gentleman. He is well spoken and direct. He is faithful, has a strong sense of integrity and displays honesty. He is mature and self-confident. He is positive, likeable, and smart. These are the qualities of a "good man".

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