If the program is working for you as you're currently working it, and you're staying sober, then you're succeeding. I don't see why he thinks you need to be on his timeline.

"Thinking about what you want to do" is probably something you're already doing and have been doing.

I am a member of AA with 50 years sobriety. My Higher Power is Nature. That takes care of all that god talk for me. As for prayer I substitute affirmations. The main thrust of the 12 steps, for me, is taking my attention off what others should be doing so that I can be comfortable and shifting my attention to what I need to be doing so that I can be comfortable. Alcohol is a great stress reliever. As long as I am not stressing over other people and working on my own attitude, I don't need alcohol to relieve stress and that keeps me away from that first drink. It's a good day to be clean and sober. Nature bless you.

I used god as my higher power. Not anymore. I went for 25 years. That's a combination of A.A. and N.A. and Alanon. I attend a retreat 2 times a year. Thats the only meetings I go to now. It sounds good to have a higher power other than yourself.... but it's really you thats the higher power. You made the dicission to stop for other reasons then to look good to god. You can use any person you love as a higher power. Or use the group. You got to ask yourself, whats important to you? Then just go with that.

There have been a number of 12-step posts. @josh_karpf posted some links or you could search through my posts and comments. There are a lot of good comments here and not nearly as many rabidly anti-12-step ones as I would have thought. Do what you need to do to stay sober and remember you have been given the gift of understanding that a limitation does not make you inferior. It's a tool to let you connect with the rest of the flawed world.

One day at a time... if needed one hour at a time. Never had the experience. I was born with this in me that refused to have a master or a mistress so substance abuse was never a subscription I couldn't cancel at a moment's notice. You do what you can but ask yourself where will you be if you didn't have that "issue or problem"? To me, it was joining the US Navy... providing for my family became more important than any high in the world. We all know you can do it. Sometimes you need to remove yourself from where you are, your friends, those that enable you. I had a friend that I grew up and learned a lot with but we have to part ways because he was not on my best interest... misery wants company you see? Let us know when you are doing bad... My sister used to say about me... "no news is good news". I am sure there are EONS of experience here and willing to help you out so don't be a stranger. Find your mojo, is on you. My senior year of H.S. I may had been the number one drug dealer in the school that guarantee me the graduation as far the principal was concerned. I had smoked weed once with one my daughters since I retired from the military 18 years ago. I spent 5 plus years without touching alcohol. I am surprised and amazed of the opiate problem of today because my generation had the same problem in the 60's/70's. Now I drink when I want to, sometimes going months without. I reserve any guilty pleasure for the right witness of the rest of my life. If I could do it like that... trust me brother... so you can... one day at a time.

I fired every sponsor I ever had. If they talked down to me, I had no use for them. That doesn't mean I didn't learn from them. My higher power was G.O.D (Group Of Drunks) because that way when someone mentioned god in a meeting, I could relate it to something. There were some great guys in my group. Find a few winners in the group who are serious about their sobriety and hang out with them. I did that for 25 years, and it worked for me. I also made gratitude lists to keep me looking in the right direction, and kept in contact with my sober friends. It works if you work it!

I've been sober 28 years this is my experience. You may find this useful.
God is a convenient 3 letter word that expresses an idea, nothing more. In we agnostics the instructions are " when we speak to you of God we mean your own conception of God. This applies to any other spiritual expression which you find this book. Do not let any Prejudice you have deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you ". Ignore the light bulb platitude. Try looking at the possibility that everything you think feel and believe could be utter bullshit. And look at the possibility that something greater than your narrow little ass could possibly exist , then go look for it . I have always wondered why we spend so much time " pole vaulting over mouse turds" when the simple instructions are already printed in the damned book. I used to say I don't have time (utter crap). I have found this practice useful, that if at night I write down my schedule for the next day, when I reach the point of"Upon awakening we look at the 24 hours ahead " and It helps me review my upcoming day "When we retire at night" It gives me something to look at. In my planning of my day I plan out some basic things, the meetings I'm going to , any step work I will do, calling my sponsor( not a daily requirement, I'm a grown ass man) doing some service work, reading literature, meditation and or prayer. Usually I write this in my daily planner in pencil ( things will happen) along with what I'm going to do for the day ,my work , appointments, and the usual stuff I need to plan out. Since I go to one or two maybe three meetings a day ( I only need one meeting a week, but since I don't know which one I need, I go to about 15), plus a few minutes to get there, a few minutes for the meeting before the meeting and the meeting after the meeting, that sort of thing, 10 minutes of reading, maybe 15 of writing, 3 minutes of a friendly chat with my sponsor or accountability partner ( if I'm not too full of self or B.S.) total time about 4 hours (15.75% of a day),not that much time; considering the numerous hours wasted sitting with drink in hand, trying to ignore the self generated suffering. As far as not working hard enough, the men I guide through the steps the first time are usually into 10, 11, & 12 within 6 months, mostly because for them they will drink (along with doing other insufficient substitutes, most recently heroin) and die. After that it's wash rinse repeat. If you are trying to become financially stable, I get it. " Any life run on self will can hardly be a success"is a quote from the big book The problem is that if I'm focused on being a success, that means I've got the money, the car the girls, the toys, the fun, the friends , once again I am using an outside substance to fix an inside problem, and we all know how well that works. It's your life, and no one will drag you kicking and screaming into the genuine freedom that is offered. I'll bet your sponsor will miss you if you go, we tend to become fond of the guys we try to help. Personally I hate wearing my black suit to funerals, It makes me look fatter than I already am. Good luck, it's worked for me, BTW have fun.

If the program has been working for you -I'd say find the time and don't sweat the higher power stuff. Worry about that later. What matters now is getting and staying 'clean' whatever that takes.

Well I certainly want to send my support your way. One of my best friends has been sober for 10 years, attends meetings regularly. This process is not something that you get a handle on, over night. Try to accept the advice as what it is meant to be, a kind of support, to remind you this is not easy, but if you keep going forward, you are bound to come out on the other side. At first...you will need to apply all your spare time to your recover. That is just what it takes! I was once married to alcoholics, so I have some experience with AA, myself. You can do this, because many a person has brought themselves into recovery, so there is no reason that you can't do it as well. Just know that I have not heard anyone say it was a 'piece of cake!' It is work...when you are reworking the brain from any disorder...it is work! Best of luck...I think you can find friends here...

I had substance abuse but went to a shrink one on one which worked for me.ive been clean of everything including smoking for nearly 5 years now. there isn't a time limit and I found that most things need just cutting out rather than cutting down.

I'm not part of AA but my sister has about 25 years and my mom ( who just passed 2 months ago ) was a 39 year Super Sponser !! It DOES work for alot of people. I think if you're going to meetings and progressing towards your goal, you ARE working plenty hard ! Try another sponser. Good luck and keep going back

The 12 step program has been largely dismissed by most drug and alcohol counseling. There are some parts of the program that do work, but it is mostly replacing addictive behaviors with new routines and solid support. The meetings help remind you that you are not alone and the reasons why your addiction is a problem. I do not agree that you are powerless in your addiction or have to hand yourself over to a higher power in order for you to rehabilitate. It is possible to recover without 12 steps, but you have to want it, and be willing to make changes.

You're doing a fine job!! keep it up!!!

The "higher power" in 12 step programs CAN be just your own Wise Self. It doesn't have to be some imaginary god.