I'm sorry you're going through this, but you really seem to have a healthy, positive outlook about it.

I'm sure there are plenty of emotions hitting you right now, but your ability to reason through things will be much more productive than praying for help that you'll never receive.
Another bonus about coming here and talking about it is that you won't get any platitudes like "God never gives us more than we can handle."

When going through hell keep going. Don't stop.. Eventually you will come out the other side.

Good for you dear. Finding happiness when life goes to shit is hard. Just try to find happiness and hang. I divorced after 25 years of marriage. It was a struggle but I too didn't feel the need to call upon my old invisible god friend.

Be sure to reach out to trusted friends if you need aid.

It's gut-wrenching and deeply disappointing to find out that your support structure doesn't exist and never has. What's refreshing, exhilarating, and reinforcing is to find out that you're actually strong enough to endure the unendurable and able enough to get through and sort out the turmoil. Welcome to the club.

hang in there. it WILL get better.

When we really do embrace logic and reason, it enables us to face the difficulties of life with our strengths and the strengths of others. We only have each other and we need to support each other. All the best.

You sound pretty strong to me. You'll bounce back. It is a shame it (may have taken) took a crappy series of events to show you that, yes, YOU made it this far with no supernatural assistance. Knowing that, you know you can get through this, as well. If it gets hard, reach out to a friend, you can hug them and see them and they are really there!

Joanne, HANG IN THERE. You are not alone and we have your back. The hurt must be felt, processed and then let go. For me I had to adapt the attitude of, " ME AGAINST THE WORLD"!!! and the mantra of "I am going to win, not her( in your case him)". Please keep moving forward, dwell on what you want but don't get stuck, feel EVERYTHING and then let it go. Good luck on your journey and know that if you need a shoulder it is out here for you.

Certainly going through a divorce can be a rough time. But you see a light at the end of the tunnel, and it will work out. A good attitude. Went through a divorce after 27 years, and we had a lot of kids. We agree to make it as easy on the kids as we could. So never got contentious. Some years late, started looking, and pretty quickly got down to looking for a non religious woman. Found a very fine atheist.

Stay strong. I'm sure you will do great

when times get hard you have to tell your self that this too will pass. see you self where you want to be and you will get there

I hate rough patches, I'm also in one right now. Lost my partner of 11 years to a kind of mutual apathy 5 months ago, and three months later became homeless due to a massive row with my sister whom I was living with. Apparently, these things are meant to make us stronger. I'm still feeling sorry for myself but have a determination to end this self-pity/self-loathing as It's starting to make me have bad thoughts about the point of living. New year- New me outlook is being formulated in my head. Hope to get through this and hope you do too.

Hi , I can relate, as I'm going thru a very difficult time myself and I reached out to my sister and her response to me was " turn too god, ask him to come into our life" Then she says she will pray for me . So I call her back a few weeks later and tell her it isn't working, in fact things have gotten worse. She then says " god hears everyone that ask him for help and guidance but sometimes he says no" I agree with you, I have been in really bad situations when I was younger and I tried prayer , I begged god for help many times. It never came, in fact I was abused even more, I believe that in this would its not what you know, its who you know that counts. I really don't know anyone as I tend to be weary of people due to being lied to and takin advantage of by people who I though cared about me. I find myself in a place now that is dangerous and possibly fatal as It is effecting my health and well being. I have no one to turn too, certainty not a fairy tale about a unseen of entity that will help you if you just believe in it enough. I am just about to stop fighting it and move to the next level but I can't quite let go. I don't wanna die but I don't wanna live like this either.. Thanks

Shoot, this sounds more like my own life than I'd like to admit! I've been separated for 3 years, but married 19 years before that.

As an extrovert, what helps me most is social interaction. Hello!

I felt the same when my marriage ended after ten years. Well, except for the having been a believer part. In my case, it was my two young kids who saved me from complete despair. Just knowing that I had to keep it together for them helped more than anything else. I'm not going to say that it was easy or that I did everything perfectly, but I held it together, sometimes barely held on and came out reasonably well. It gets better gradually, but it takes time for it to be good. Use whatever you've got to get through.

Hi Joanne. I'm going though a very similar situation right now. I've been separated from my wife of 15 years (together for 20) with no possibility of reconciliation. She went through a "spiritual awakening" and basically tossed me aside. No room for an Atheist in her life anymore. If you ever want or need to talk I'm here to listen. It's rough each day I know. I've had a lot of sleepless nights. Hang in there! Again, I'm here for support if you want to talk.

Hang in there ! Sounds like you have enough inner strength that you have no need to look outside yourself. Even though we all can use some support from those who care, a hug, a shoulder, someone to talk things over with. That human stuff !

I feel as you do, but wish (during this time of an emotional upheaval), that I did believe! I could then have an entity that I relied upon for strength and belief, but I know logically that we have no clue as to why and how we are here! Possibly it is larger than our capacity for knowing? But to my mind, if there is a God, he has been sleeping on the job!!"

I wish you luck in getting through this. I have been told that I will find myself believing in God when I feel that life is crap or when I really want a situation to end up a certain way, but I've never felt that.

You need not have any God in your life to make you feel or be strong, God is for the weak and those who seek answers but never get them. We all have rough times in our lives, we all for the most get through them and they are what makes you and I at the end of the day. If you need to talk, I am here (a stranger can be of help at times) and unlike God and his followers I don't judge nor have any reason to. If I can help just ask x

Greetings Joanne,

I am sorry to read about your troubles and I feel compelled to respond with a quote that has lifted me when I go dark.

"Some things in life cannot be fixed or cured, they can only be carried." ~ Meghan Devine

I too have rejected organized religion after being disappointed by members of the Cloth over and over. Now when I need to renew my spirits I take a walk in the woods, Nature lifts me more than religiosity ever did.

be well
Dennis

This happened ot me at a time and i actually had nowhere to live, my children had left home by then, I stayed with different friends and was obsessed about always having a clean pair of knickers so I had stashes of them at the house of everyone i knew - I think having that one clear plan in my head was a focus for everything at that point ,and yes I burst into tears often but not because of my partner just lack of structure, - I was working as a lecturer in person centred counselling, so work was important - it was all the between hours that were hard not having a structure. I got over it pretty well but there are so many losses you have to grieve - Might be a good plan to list them Yes its always fine at the end but that middle bit needs a lot of cossetting I seriously wish you well!

Look back, but don't stare. Someone gave me that when I was relating a problem that I was having with my immediate family. You are going to realize how strong you really are and never knew it. I was never married for all the right reasons by asking all the right questions that they didn't know how to answer. I helped a lot of my friends thru such a period and my biggest concern was to tell them was not be vindictive or go and get married again right away. Lots of things you always wanted to do and never could because of all the obvious reasons. Well guess what. Its called Me First so grab a suit case and change the scenery. I found lots of beautiful people with whom I could related my life to and you will find that you are not alone and they give the best remedies for what you are because people are the best cure for everything. Don't dump on yourself and remember that sympathy is in the dictionary between shit and syphilis. Learn to dance in the rain and if your going thru hell to just keep going. Your going to do great.

Im sorry for your pain. But the real deal is that now you get to be whoever you want to be. Nobody can control you. Being single is rough untill you realize your most eligible lady out there and can tone up and dazzle whomever you want. Hmmm... I remember my first divorce. I toned up and worked out. Think of your divorce as a gift to you instead of something thats troublesome.