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So, I'm trying to buy a house for the first time. Not that I really want to; that's one adult responsibility I was hoping to avoid. But my mom's about to have her place sold out from underneath her (long story) and can't afford to live by herself anywhere else (longer story). And moving her and her lovable nutcase dog into my shitty studio apartment with me isn't an option. So yeah, time for me to grow up and buy a house. My ex-wife says that I'll have a hard time finding a woman who'll date a man who lives with his mother. I say it's more like my mom lives with me, and I'm getting to the age where that sort of thing gets more common, right? Thoughts?

Lonesome_Parrot 4 Feb 1
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13 comments

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0

Why can’t you rent a house, if you don’t want to buy?

1

If you love your mother and she was always good to you ,then your mother should always be your priority.My sister in law and her family lived in a house with an area for my mother in law with absolutely no problems .

1

It shouldn't be a huge problem for women. If anything it shows you are a loyal and responsible man.

0

I wouldn't give a shit what your ex-sais. I think there's a hint of envy in her saying that. you only have one mum.

4

I've heard that a man will only treat a woman as good as he treats his mother so you are already demonstrating your willingness and desire to take care of a woman. Owning your own home is another positive. As long as you have a healthy relationship with your mother only a very insecure woman would be put off.

1

I think you're right - if you were moving into her house for whatever reason, it would be pretty unattractive. But if she's living with you in your house it's different because you're taking care of her, which is sweet. But if you still needed her to take care of you that's a red flag for a potential mate who doesn't want to baby an adult or compete with your mom.

1

I wouldn't hesitate. I have a sister & brother in law who live in the same house as their son, a hard working responsible lad who also has his girlfriend living with them. As far as I know, they all get along quite well.

1

It wouldn't deter me because you are helping her out.

4

I would think that a woman would be impressed by you taking care of your mother but then again I'm older and a large number of my generation are in a similar situation.

As a woman I will say that if a girl would pass on you because you are helping your mother, she isn't worth bothering with.

My ex bought a house for his parents although he also lived in it and although there were some issues we had to work around, I admired him for taking care of them.

I second the granny flat idea if she is able to take care of herself but they are more expensive to buy- If you are going for new construction, dual masters are becoming popular

2

Lots of thoughts, if you have the financial side sorted, well done.
You and you mum must get on ok?
My son and I house share, we own this place 50/50 after each selling our own places 5 years ago. We have mostly lived together since he was born, he has never left home, I did a few times, gave him space to grow once he finished school. Also we dissolved our business partnership and he went and worked for a boss for over 10 years. Again, just so he would know options. We have almost zero issues between us, and a lot of advantages, shared costs, pet mindings, shared chores, someone to surf and fish with, we each give each other space when we have company. Original plan I was going to build a granny flat and let him have the main house in case he partnered up and began a family. He was against the idea, so we each have our own rooms, share a kitchen and the outdoor areas. Best living arrangement I have ever had. oh yea, some women find the idea strange and assume it will be awkward, until after they have visited, the younger girls are the same, they put of coming here for a while, but once they have visited, they come down freely. We even over came one awkward issue, a lady I was beginning to get to know, picked him up at a party one night. She realised we were father and son after a while and wouldn't come here to see him. She does now, though he was at her place last night. There are some other quirky things, but not ones that would be relevent.

0

It is better to own a house where your mother lives with you than to live in a rented studio apartment from a dating perspective I would think...

0

My parents moved in with me when I bought my first house at age 23, after they had a foreclosure. It was the best financial decision I have ever made. I made a deal with them to split the carrying cost of the mortgage, it was worth it for them ( cut their monthly housing expenses by 60-70%). it was also worth it for me. I bought the house for 80k and I’m about to list if for sale for 220k. If you don’t really want your mom in “your space” buy a house with a basement or a property on which you can build a small accessory dwelling unit aka granny flat, mother in law suite. A duplex or a multi family house might also be an option for you.

1

Can you get house with detached granny flat?

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