welcome

you are in good company here

Everyone's personal sense of just how far gone counts as crazy surely varies, but I was raised steeped in Pentacostal brand of lunacy. My parents both spoke in jibberish--tongues frequently, church services contained congregants yelling out "prophecy" in the middle of sermons, and we had regular designated "worship" parts of services in which many people would moan and fall on the floor, "slain in the spirit", and the pastor would yell out inappropriate and embarrassingly personal things(probably inacurate) about individuals in front of the whole congregation, and no one there seemed to see any problem with that violation of personal dignity--except people like me, who, even at age 9 realized that was abusive. I fervently prayed into my late teens, all the more because I needed to be saved from the "spirit of homosexuality!" Something that secretly terrified me but that I never dared admit to anyone else there. Ironically and wonderfully, it was partly my "homosexual spirit" that ended up saving me from that religious insanity by waking me up to the fact that the evangelical bullshit was not only crushi?ngly oppressive with its guilt trip, it was also proven to be bullshit by what science was discovering about sexual diversity, biology, etc. By age 18, I had figured out the church was full of hypocrisy and was NOT the mouthpiece of God. Shortly after that I had pieced together that the Bible, too, was a patched together assortment of fairytales with archaic notions of morality and gender straitjacket norms, and many factual falsehoods. By age 20, I finally could accept that my whole Christian notion of God as simultaneously all-knowing, all-powerful, infinitely benevolent and yet vengeful and eternally damning of billions of people whose "sins" basically amounted to ignorance and flaws that God created them with.... In other words, the whole equation is an impossibility; an absurd oxymoron, that we only thought made divine sense because we were brainwashed with fear of hell, lest we doubt. By age 20, in other words, I was out; I had found the escape hatch out of the fear trap that is their paradigm.

I was in Pentecostal churches and saw many supernatural things.

But I didn't necessarily associate such things with Christianity, since vodoo people in Haiti could do the same things, and my mom, my sister-and later my kids-and I were born psychic and could do all that Bible stuff naturally, without religion being involved.
So could the Native American Indians, and their white captives, if they were with the Indians over six months before being returned.

Einstein showed that matter is just a form of energy. Since energy can't be created or destroyed, then we have always existed, and will always exist in some energy form.
We contribute to creating our own reality, so are usually limited by our own beliefs.

"For us believing physicists, the distinction between past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion." -Einstein

“I regard consciousness as fundamental, and matter as derivative from consciousness." – Max Planck, theoretical physicist who originated quantum theory, 1918 Nobel Prize in Physics

Right here, man. 12 years in private Christian school, speaking in tongues, supernatural healings, mandatory 10% tithes on the gross.

It's a horrible experience to live the life and think everything is great, and then after waking up reality slaps you around and you feel like crap.

I wrote about the de-conversion process a bit on my blog here: [slayer1am.blogspot.com]