I love you. We all love you. Reminisce about his life and stories and events that mean something to the family. If he mentions heaven rub his arm and kiss his cheek. Assure him that everyone is there for him.

Hold hands and reminisce

now is not the time to try and take away that warm and fuzzy blanket of belief leave him something to hold on to if it comforts them let it

I have found that you don't need to talk about God, the afterlife, or any other religious mumbo jumbo in order to be comforting. Reflecting on who the person has been and good times you all shared can be just as good. Often when others are praying or saying things like 'he's in a better place now' I just nod and agree. It's just the wrong time and place to bring up what is actually the truth.

In good conscience I'd lie through my teeth and tell him and them what they want to hear. Regardless of your beliefs I think it would be cruel to challenge his beliefs on his freaking deathbed.

I really appreciate your question and your candor. My initial thoughts would be to spend quality time, break out the photo albums, share memories, and just wrap your arms around him as many times as possible while he is still here...

With love and compassion, you don't need to be religious to let people know you care. Sit and talk with them, spend time with them listening and you don't need to talk about his dying or what happens afterwards to give him comfort.

I feel like this is a situation in which remaining true to oneself is irrelevant. Being there for loved ones in the ways they need is far more important than ideology.

I definitely agree with Hugene here. I'd recommend exploring with your grandfather those special memories you have had with him and also those who were close to both of you. When my mother was dying, I talked to her about the finches who were visiting the feeders I'd hung by my kitchen window and how they reminded me of the finches who visited our kitchen window when I was a teenager. Mom had put up one of those suction cup feeders that stuck to the window and the finches came all the time. It's simple but meaningful. That was Mother's Day and the last day I saw her alive.

With dying family members I made an exception and made all the proper grunts and facial contortions to please them in their final hours but with friends and colleagues who were religious I stayed away, sent cards and offered to help with receptions to the nearest and dearest to avoid empty gestures and awkward silences. My favorite excuse for avoiding religious funerals is to be too busy at the last moment with the last minute food preparations for the reception to attend. I'd rather spend 100 hours catering a reception than spend 10 minutes in a church listening to gibberish.

Just play pretend religious for them until they pass, no need to salt the wound, that's what I do.

Being understanding of someone else's beliefs is a reasonable thing to be. Since nobody really knows, acknowledging that another's beliefs are valid and treating them so in a crisis is the unselfish thing to do.

I would read to him one of the nicer stories in the Bible. It's an interesting book that can be read as literature. I especially like the book of Esther.

I do not think I could offer much comfort other than listening if I tell people I am an Atheist they start passing out the guilt card and express their concerns for my soul. Many people find religion when they die, I am not going to pretend that I am religious when I die.

How is your grandfather? I hope well. I've come across this a few times. You may want to respond by saying "he is in my thoughts." "You are in my thoughts." "I'll be thinking about you."

It's hard when someone asks you to pray for them or a dying loved one. I just give a comforting smile and say something like, "They/You are always in my thoughts, and if there is any else I can do for you please let me know. " I never say that I will not pray for someone, but I never say that I will as well. My role is to offer comfort and support the best way that I can.

My Mom is dying of cancer.

Her one wish is that I graduated with my BS. I failed a class my last term, so never got it. It’s been fifteen years. I’m going to buy a fake degree paper. Pretend I went to the JC again for one fucking math class. Why? So she can die happy. (I’ll probably burn it after. This particular lie bothers me.)

I will also tell her that my dad and other loved ones will be seeing her in her heaven. I will tell her her god is by her side, and he loves her. Why? So she can die happy.

Just an aside: it makes me so happy to be among people whose aim in this situation is to treat a person with grace, compassion and comfort, as opposed to the ridiculous sense of urgency some religious put forth to 'save' or forgive someone 'before it's too late'.

I agree with all that's been offered up here, particularly from jodyfine and daddy4pugs. More than prayers (which aren't comforting him at all) the best thing for you to do is maintain touch by holding his hands, or just rest your hand on his arm, leg, wherever, and talk to him in a soft voice without expecting him to answer (just a murmured 'It's okay, I'm here with you' works). Touch and hearing are the last senses to diminish so he'll probably like it. And if a group of family start encircling the bed with prayer stuff, maybe gently suggest that it's too disruptive for your grandfather for them to be doing it, so they should pray quietly to themselves or move it to an outer room.

that's a great question... might be a good consideration for humanist chaplains, and I think that death midwives, while they are often believers of supernatural stuff, might have some solutions for this matter. Death midwives literally train for these kinds of things. Another thing for the Nones to consider is participation in Death Cafes, where we begin to talk about death more openly.

If I am around people who I care about, and they are praying. I just respect that by being silent and maybe holding hands, bowing head. Out of respect for the individual not the practice.

You don't have to 'pray' to have good thoughts about your grandfather and hopes for his future. That is my take. I don't pray, but I respect others rights to do what they wish. When they call for prayer, there is no harm to me in bowing my head and listening to good music (in my head), thinking about a calculus problem that I am struggling with, or some such... and, I'd be quite surprised if a significant number of people who were 'praying' weren't doing the same as I: idly thinking of something that is on their mind.

What is important is that you do what is comfortable to you.

You just have to be true to yourself. If you dearly love your grandfather, you just tell him so, even when no one's looking or listening.