He passed away 14 years ago

I was passionate about things like god, religion, love and romance until I found out that they were actually empty illusions. The consolation prize is that I extract meaning and purpose with a lot less material by simply doing what I call "living within my true scope". That mostly involves not feeling entitled to any of the things that religious and romantic tropes promised me, but instead having realistic expectations and putting in the effort.

I have survived all sorts of assaults on my ideals, hopes and aspirations. Divorce, widowerhood, other deaths in the immediate family including one of my children, serious illness in myself and others, religious disillusionment, various betrayals and careless cruelties from people I know are capable of far better, the list goes on. But I also was born into relative social privilege, have for some reason had a very fortunate professional life, am debt free, and have meaningful things with which to occupy myself. I am loved, if not in exactly all the ways and with all the reliability I'd prefer. These are the things I focus on, not the notion that things will, or ought to, go my way simply because I'm "passionate" about those things. An indifferent universe does not care about what I care about, or THAT I care about it.

The EPL. When it was the First Division there was a lot of even competition and compelling soccer. Then the money came along. I just find top flight soccer pretty dull now with only two or three teams contending and the rest making up the numbers?

2 things: old age & reality.

I have to admit I'm a lot less passionate about my college sports teams after they got caught in scandals. I wanted to believe MY college had clean programs.

Golf, I wasn't very good and l got worse.

Well, when I was 12 I thought that Night Ranger was a pretty cool band. Then somebody played Pink Floyd's, The Wall for me and a whole new universe of possibilities opened up.

People killed my passion for people