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Is patriarchy ruining your dating life?

As I have been involved in the "wonderful" world of on-line dating, it seems to me that men don't realize how much of this good-ol' patriarchy is ruining our dating lives.

Because of the dickish attitudes that many men were force-fed from when they were young, they act horribly and disrespectfully to women in the dating apps. As a result, women become very cautious and skeptical (a totally logical response), and will be far more reluctant to make the connection.

I guess there could be more hormonal explanation for men's overly aggressive attitudes, rather than sociological.

But if this idea of "woman as sexual possession" were to diminish, I think more women would be willing to meet with more men more often. ๐Ÿ™‚ Think about how much easier that would make the on-line dating!

This on-line dating has been an interesting sociological experiment, which I am happy to have ended. At least for now. Knock on wood.

AtheistReader 7 Nov 30

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7 comments

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1

A few decades ago, a guy I worked with showed me his paycheck. After taxes, child support and alimony, he got to bring home 15% of his paycheck. Had to live with someone, and couldnt even split the bills evenly. Matriarchy changed my life. Still never been married, still havent had children.

I don't know. The problem with the patriarchy is the commercialzation of human relationship, and those with money can purchase more "love and affection" of women (because in patriarchy women are possesions). The system of alimony and child support, is really a feature of the patriarchy. But that's ok. We can go on blaming the victims. It's more fun that way.

@KenChang Did you just assume the woman was the victim? I did not state the mans story because I only ever heard his side of it. He told me she found someone else and took off. I only mentioned the financial because of it a being one sided story. The financial aspect dictates it is not patriarchal. The financial is mathematical. And does not fall prey to he said, she said, or feelings.

@Veteran229 No. I think you are missing the point. You see single incident and you generalize from that. Your belief that somehow this is the "matriarchy" is what I call blaming the victims (plural), women. If you truly want to hear my point of view, let me know.

@KenChang Patriarchy/Feminism is a fallacy.. They do not desire to be equal. They want and want. But they have no desire to give up their superior aspects. They to keep non draft eligibility. They want to keep instant custody of children. They want to keep the pittance they pay versus a man if they lose custody. etc etc.

@Veteran229 Sigh. Ok. If you want to discuss this, let me know. If you want to simply make your opinion expressed, but don't want/need to discuss it, that's fine. I am thinking it's the latter. It's always the easy choice.

@KenChang You are ignoring the mathematical aspect of finance, that shows the Matriarchal superiority. For the purpose of supporting an ideology. These things are done in court. So by law the government has instituted matriarchal superiority over finance.

@Veteran229

A. Let's have a discussion about this.
B. I am going to simply make declarative statements expressing my point of view.

Choose one.

@KenChang We are having a discussion, you are chosing to ignore the topic, because it contradicts your perceived ideology.

@Veteran229 No. I am trying to have a discussion. You are making speeches.

@KenChang No I an discussing the financial superiority, you want to branch out and talk about women as a whole being victims.

@Veteran229 we cannot have a true discussion when we are using whatever the terms we like without defining them and coming to a mutually agreed understanding

@Veteran229 good! Some progress. Are they unrelated topics? Or are they related. If so how. Make me understand you.

@Veteran229 what do you mean by financial superiority?

@Veteran229 If you want, we can have an extended discussion, little by little bit. But I do want to understand where you are coming from, if you will also listen to what I have to say.

@KenChang scroll up and read.

@Veteran229 I did. But you are not making much sense. A couple get divorced. One party received alimony and child support. Why is that financial superiority?

@KenChang Those laws set in place are dictated by government. things are changing, but still the woman is usually given without question. This is not patriarchy, this is matriarchy. The woman is by default the benefactor, and has full support of the government. This is not equality by any means.

@Veteran229 Ok. So... You are saying women usually gets alimony and child support in divorce proceedings, and these proceedings are sanctioned by law. Therefore women have the financial superiority. Did I get that right?

@KenChang yes.

@Veteran229

Ok. What is you understanding of what the law says about alimony and child support? How is a judge supposed to decide who will get child support and alimony?

@KenChang The is no decision in custody. Only default benefactor. The only decision is how much money.

@Veteran229 I don't understand. Are you saying the law says only women get the custody?

@KenChang Unless proven unfit for woman to have full custody, or the 2 agree to split custody.

@Veteran229 Is that true in your state? Are you sure that is the standard, not "the best interest of the child" standard? In other words, are you guessing or do you know for sure?

@KenChang I have read my parents divorce and custody paperwork from their divorce years ago. As well as having been unfortunate enough to have participated in the proceeding on occasions. Testifying on incidents in the past etc.

@Veteran229 ok.but you haven't answered my question. Which state is this? I can do a quick legal research

@KenChang I have also seen a mans paycheck side by side from paying in full custody to receiving full custody. He was paying 300 a month, but when receiving only 40 a month. with only a 3k/year difference in pay.

@Veteran229 As a lawyer I've seen lots of weird shit, but that doesn't answe anything.

@KenChang OH

@Veteran229 Ok. Now I am NOT giving you a legal advice (I am not licensed to practice in OH), but my quick research showed me the following statute:

๐Ÿบ(1) When making the allocation of the parental rights and responsibilities for the care of the children under this section in an original proceeding or in any proceeding for modification of a prior order of the court making the allocation, the court shall take into account that which would be in the best interest of the children.

Ohio Rev. Code Ann. ยง 3109.04 (West)

In other words, Ohio, like probably ANY other state, including mine, WA, uses the "best interest of child" as the standard in awarding custody. Can we agree on this?

@KenChang Yup.

@Veteran229 So, you and I agree that the law does not, at least not on its face, automatically favor mother to receive child custody over the father, correct? That there is not even a "default" for mother, not as it is written in the law. Agreed?

@Veteran229 Sorry. Had to edit my above response. The law does NOT automatically favor women in custody proceeding is what I was trying to say. Not on its face anyway....

@KenChang judiciary enforces it that way. Which is not the letter of the law. Judiciary is law none the less with their interpretation.

@Veteran229 Well, yes. I agree that the court still has to interpret what that "best interest of child" means and apply it to the individual facts. And that's what I want to know more about your point of view. But it seems that you do agree that on its face, it is gender neutral, but we all know how what appears to be perfectly neutral on its face can be used to discriminate, like the Separate but Equal doctrine.

But before we get to why, do you believe that there are more male judges or female judges in Ohio judiciary?

@KenChang mostly male and red politically.

@Veteran229 Great. So if the judges interpret the law in favor of women, it's not because the judiciary is overrun by feminist women judges, right? Agreed?

Ok. Now the important question: Do you think that the judges often interpret the "best interest of child" standard in favor of women? If so how prevalent is that and why do you think that is?

2

You are entirely correct. When the toxic behaviour is pointed out, most guys get offended and double down on their obnoxious behaviours as well. Then come on here crying about how they can't get dates or keep getting dumped for "no reason".

2
3

It's sounds like your date went well and your christmas gift planning. I"m glad to hear it. I do believe that what you have said makes sense. There is a lot of truth to that, I know that I am careful about dating and what is expected of me.

7

Well, it makes me appreciate a man like yourself even more.

We see you. You are wonderful.

Thank you. It takes effort not being total dick. But I do my best. ๐Ÿ™‚

@KenChang You have succeeded and it becomes you.

@KenChang you seem like a great guy. I need to meet someone like you.

@AmmaRE007 Awww shucks. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks. I am ok. I know that I am not a total dick. I think most men are ok... In the internet, it is always the assholes who speak with the loudest voices it seems though...

@KenChang Have you ever thought about cloning yourself?

@KenChang exactly

@AmmaRE007 I second, or third that !

Agreed!

3

I am happy to meet as many men as possible, actually bring them on.

2
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