21 7

Do you feel somewhat annoyed or angry when you find out someone is testing you?

Maybe I take things too personal, but in the past, I’ve actually cursed people out and came close to getting into a fist fight when I found out they were doing that sh*t. I do understand that some testing is called for, but for the most part, I just feel that people are playing games when they do that.

Please or register to see comments



"Testing"....like to see if you can be trusted? Or are honest? I do not have a problem with it as I too wish to know these things about others.

AnneWimsey Level 7 Feb 12, 2018

Testing one in a healthy way such as making sure they’re trustworthy is fine. The other type to try to find weak spots to control them is another. That burns me up.

@EmeraldJewel I actually cannot think of an example from my life of this...since I am 69+, it must have happened......?

@EmeraldJewel Isn't that marketing? Sell the unsellable and unwanted through research into buying resistance? Isn't that what all colours and flavours of lying and or corrupt politicians have been doing for centuries?


Be wary of narcissists. Avoid when possible

Babyseal Level 6 Feb 12, 2018

Nah. If someone tries to test me I just fail intentionally and cropdust them as I head for the door.

Taijiguy Level 6 Feb 12, 2018

I was in an emotionally abuse marriage so I am sensitive to manipulation. Creating a situation to see what someone will do is manipulative and reason to remove a person from your life.

A2Jennifer Level 6 Feb 12, 2018

?? They're always testing you. and me. and the one behind the tree. How else would you know who you can count on?


Most cis women (even women like ME) "test" new boyfriend interests for mental soundness by breaking things off soon after the start of the romance, and paying attention to other males for awhile.

If her ex boyfriend goes ballistic, becomes violent, threatening, a stalker, or acts needy and clingy, she'll not return to him, and consider it missing a bullet.
If he takes it in good humor, casually sees others, yet still hangs around, being cheerful and charming when given the opportunity, she will likely eventually take him back.

In fact, skipping this "test" could be dangerous for women..especially women with a high percentage of male traits, who tend to "fall in love" like men do with women and become besotted, refusing to see faults in their male lovers.

birdingnut Level 8 Feb 12, 2018

What's the saying? "Trust but verify". It can make a big difference in your life.

Well, I would consider that the person was not interested after all, and move along. If they suddenly changed their mind, I would be suspicious of manipulation and be wary.

Trying to get "competitive pressure" going for me is likely to have a negative effect.

@arnies I don't think the women (including me) think of it as a test..they just do it instinctively. If you didn't come after them then they wouldn't care, but would go on their merry way with someone else. It's the same in the animal world..the most persistent male that pursues the female, is the one who usually wins her over. His persistence is an indication of testosterone levels, much as humor is.

@birdingnut Perhaps I am selecting based on the ability to override instincts and act rationally, smile001.gif

@arnies Most people are reacting to instincts they don't mentally comprehend. All nature cares about is procreation.

That might be the dumbest idea I've ever read. If you're serious about the person I mean. If I'm involved with a woman and she breaks it off shortly after things start to heat up, I'm going to move on with my life. But then, I'm not some insecure beta who tolerates being jerked around. Unless the test is designed to make sure that's what you're getting. In which case, I guess, "bravo"?

@Taijiguy Even weirder when someone post menapausal is doing it.

Women mostly just pull away, not necessarily break up, as you mean it. If you are trying to insult me, I was married until 2010 and I haven't dated since. No interest. But people have certainly continued to both ask me out and propose to me.


If anybody wants to play silly mind games like that with me they can "haemotologically copulate elsewhere"!

irascible Level 8 Feb 13, 2018

@irascible -- Damn it man. You really need to open up a bit. Say it like it is.


See? Doesn't that sound better?

@evidentialist LOL! I am glad that my subverting the art of swearing has pleased you. smile001.gif

@irascible -- That it has, mate.


Dishonest communication

Agreed. I have no time for such people.


Annoyed and amused. Then if at all possible I like to obfuscate my responses, befuddle and confuse them.

I will never forget a job interview where I was asked "how do you handle stress" by two interviewers who didn't have a clue as to what my qualifications and experience had entailed. I slowly looked from one to the other staring into their eyes, raised my fingers to my lips, pursed my lips, started blowing a raspberry whilst using my finger tips to modulate the sound. As anticipated I was not offered the position. Humour was the only thing that would have made the job tenable. They didn't have it.


People are playing games when they do that. The problem is people will play games. Your anger is misplaced. Dogs sniff butts. Cat sniff fur and people play games. Getting to know you is a natural process. If you suspect that games are being played, ask the person outright if they are testing you and let them know that you don't appreciate the behavior.

Dwight Level 7 Feb 12, 2018

I work with a person like that, hes a very toxic and chaotic person to I keep my interactions to a minimum

Ugh that sucks!!!

Ya hes a really disturbed person


Not sure what you mean by "testing" or what the context is.

If I'm being tested by someone who knows me well, or more commonly, when I am misunderstood or ascribed nefarious motives by someone who should know better, THAT will honk me off. Although often it simply reflects their fears / operant conditioning and can be very unconscious, it gets tiresome to put up with from people who you've proven yourself to many times over. It's like integrity buys you no elbow room at all. Sometimes I wish I hadn't bothered and had just been the selfish arse that I'm being accused of being. It would have made it easier for everyone concerned.

It doesn't stop with dating, it's done by longtime spouses, adult children, you name it. It just goes with being human I'm afraid.

Trust is most needed when it's hardest to give, unfortunately.

mordant Level 7 Feb 13, 2018

I've come across a couple of posts that the member already knew the correct answers and ask a question just to show another member up. Or ask a sensitive question to intise a riot between the members just to get points. You got to ask yourself if answering some of those questions can get you a negative response? To make it where it would cause another member to get overheated and they write something ugly to your reply. I say live and learn. I have learned...


Frequently in days of yore, marriage never occurred until the woman had bourne the first child to prove that she could do the job.
I suspect that since the advent of the pill and Heffner's Playboy magazine, proof of effective pleasurable coitus became more important.

FrayedBear Level 8 Feb 13, 2018

I don't recall it happening to me, or maybe I don't pay attention

jonds56 Level 6 Feb 13, 2018

Annoyed trust me or feck off

Simon1 Level 7 Feb 13, 2018

love a test. nothing like succeeding against the supposed odds


Ladies don't fight. Take your time... relax. Learn to be the grown up. Anger solves very little and often enough just get you compromised. Chill.

Write Comment
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content read full disclaimer
  • Agnostic.com is a non-profit community for atheists, agnostics, humanists, freethinkers, skeptics and others happy without religion!