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How did you come out to your family as atheist (or whatever you identify as)?

I have been considering for a while now how to work in the fact that I no longer subscribe to the beliefs of my family. They are devout, and I can't keep pretending that I still go to church. I know most people say not to make it a big deal, but this is going to be a big deal. Even a fraction of a detail that doesn't coincide with my dad's worldview is going rock the boat and maybe lead to a full interrogation. So how did you folks do it? Do they know the extent of what you believe? Sexuality coming out stories apply here, too!

EarthKate 5 Dec 11
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32 comments (26 - 32)

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I walked into a conversation between my Christian mom and my sister who's a number of years older than me and a science teacher. My Mother just then asked my sister something to the affect or whether she was still a Christian and she said no, the question was then turned to me and I too said no in some fashion (not sure if I said I was an atheist or not outright). Our Mom was visibly displeased, due to how my parents work though nothing much came of it after that.

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My mom is extremely religious and it has def. caused riffs in our relationship. I remember I slowly stopped going to church during high school- much to her chagrin and she would guilt me into going. Soon I just went to Xmas mass bc tbh I like some of the music. For a long time, she was in denial about what I believed in until I flat out told her that I didn’t see any logical reason to believe in a God and even if God existed, I probably still wouldn’t worship Him. Eventually, after I negated all of her reasoning (most of them falling into the God of the gaps fallacy), I told her that she was free to believe in what ever she wanted but if she continued to berate and belittle me I would stop going home and cut off communication with her. She went about two weeks without speaking to me citing that she was “hurt”. But since then She has promised to stop bringing up the topic with me in order for us to have a relationship.

3

I've been an open skeptic since childhood in an otherwise religious family, so I had no coming out, but I did have a coming to a head. I dealt with the projected shame, guilt, and disappointment for years on my own, and I wish I'd have brought things to a head much sooner. When it became a potential threat to my children, I finally took the hard stand and gave them two options. 1. Respect my difference of beliefs without the constant underhanded challenges and have me and my children in their lives or 2. Watch us walk away and never look back. I was truly there. And it was oddly the one time the conversation didn't devolve into a fight. It was a slow process, but we've come a long way in our understanding. Family get togethers are enjoyable again, and devoid of the religious aspect while we all agree to simply focus on family. Love will trump hate. Hugs

2

Why are we always the ones defending our beliefs, when it is the rest of the world that believes fantasies that are based on zero evidence?

0

I just said "I don't believe that crap". They just shrugged and said "Okay". That's pretty much it.

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I realized at 16 years old that all religions were fairly tales mean to control people and their lives. The misogyny and the concomitant absurdity was too much for me. I simply said I cannot believe in religions and that was that. They did not like it but so be it. I am an honest person and was not going to lie.

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My mom called me an atheist before I even realized I'd slid past agnostic. She wasn't very happy about it but I stopped caring about what she thought long before then.

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