The dating market has become saturated. There are way too many choices and nobody wants to "settle". Everyone wants to keep their options open and seem to all have unrealistic expectations now. When you're in a candy store, most people want a piece of everything and not just one thing. It seems like people are career daters now in this generation. It's so easy to move onto someone else now when just one thing doesn't meet your expectations.

There was a window for online dating when it wasn't so saturated. I think that was probably the best time for the MAJORITY of people involved to find a match.

I remember when I was 21 and I had my first long term relationship. It was off of CollegeClub.com. It wasn't even a dating site. It was more like a Myspace. I dated some girls off of there too in the mid 2000s. Dating sites started in the mid 90s, but there were only a couple of them. They didn't explode until well after. It seems like if there are 100 million eligible daters out there, they're all on a dating website now.

There was actually a study done where too much choice is actually a hindrance in getting what you actually want and being satisfied.

The only time online dating was genuinely online dating was in the beginning, sadly it has become a what I feel is a shopping list. This woman on Huff post talks sense.

"<relationships> happened because attraction and friendship were allowed to develop over time."
Online dating has commercialized it. People make their shopping list, meet someone and expect to be done. They sit across the table from someone with said list and start ticking boxes based on almost no information. And they're already thinking of a better more perfect match instead of putting effort into who they're with at the time. They expect to know the person and feel a connection within a couple of meetings. It's magical thinking. Connections are built over time. You have to behave intentionally.

I could have written this article! This is exactly how I feel. I have been on many online dating sites with the same results, nothing, natha, null, and I feel exhausted and disgusted.

Probably depends on your method and luck. I am married to an online date and we are heading for year twelve.

I absolutely get where she’s coming from. I tried it for several years with no success. It can be a very demoralizing thing if you let it. I just finally quit putting myself through the hassle. I never thought finding someone again would be so hard and at this point I’m pretty resigned to being by myself.

Exactly how I feel about it. I need to join a club or somthing.

When I was searching years ago, it never worked for me. I met a few women. For myriad reasons, nothing progressed. Maybe I'm jaded, or maybe it's really not what I want, but the desire to jump through hoops and play the game is gone — not just online, but in general. Merely thinking about it feels exhausting. I honestly don't know what keeps people coming back time and again.

This line: "First dates in the online dating world aren’t dates. In the IRL dating world, two people are often acquainted, at least in some loose capacity, before dating, which creates, if not a respect, then a fear of consequences. Online daters have never been burdened by this."

She's right.

Our brains evolved to basically get us to pass our genes to the next generation, so it evolved a pattern of behavior where it mattered how you found and interacted with a potential mate, because usually the choices were few, and the consequences for not mating were great.

In the 21st century, mating is really a choice, not a biological prerogative, but our brains still don't know that.

Tried it for a short while. It seemed most of the women who were near my age and I may have been interested in, were Christians, and were looking for someone younger. No thanks. And the one's who were interested in me didn't seem to have paid any attention to my profile and my preferences. Two or three ladies with whom I had, what seemed to me, nice phone conversations, or message exchanges, always had some event looming which would put them out of reach for a period of time; then they would never get back to me, even though l had made the initial overture, or had responded very positively. Ah, well, it was a brief adventure.

Yea I've never put much emphasis on online dating, it's always been a roll of the dice. I still have a profile and what not, but I just leave it out there and go about my life. Like a fisherman sitting back in his boat enjoying the currents, rod cast without a care if he get a bite or not. I do get tired of having to be one that has to carry the damn conversation though, I may as well be talking to my birds. It's my biggest gripe that I encounter time and time again, where they just give simple low quality responses to whatever I say and never having much to say themselves. I know I've sometimes fallen victim to doing that, but only after I've been exhausted of everything.

To me she reeked of desperately wanted a husband.

I gave up online dating a long time ago.

I've done the online thing for years - in between relationships. And my last two serious connections of 4 1/2, and 3 1/2 yrs respectively , were both people I met online !

Sure, I won't deny sometimes being frustrated nearly out of my mind by some of the scammers, total rudies, downright obnoxious A-holes, and stalker types I came across while there. But over time I've also chatted with some fascinating, interesting, funny, and downright charming folks. The biggest obstacle I cam across - as on here, is distance.
I even made a joking correlation of it : the higher the level of attraction I have to someone - the more miles there are between us ! And of course as time goes on , the more likely one is to be firmly planted where they live, and far less likely to ever consider moving.

I recognized early on that I needed to have a resilient sense of humor,  and to not take anything personally,  even the occasional out-of-the-blue angry attacks by perfect strangers, for no apparent reason whatsoever !  
I write back and forth a little,  usually do some phone time (much can be learned then !),  and meet at a neutral location - like a park ,  with no money spent on either side.  
I still see the value in online meets,  as too often we're all living parallel lives, that often do not intersect with any sort of target rich environment.  And I no longer work full time,  thus that pool of possible prospects at a full time company etc., is also gone.

I understand the frustrations with online dating sites. However, despite not finding a romantic partner, I've met several interesting people through a couple of dating sites that I don't think I would have met otherwise. I put a lot of time into writing my profiles, and I look for others who have done the same. Most of my messages get ignored, but not all.

Oh I have plenty of experience with it over the past couple decades, I met my second wife online.
It is, as mentioned by another, overwhelming in volume of people to view. And as stated you tend to like and continue to looking for a better fit . I like it because of the chatting however I am not trying my butt off to get a date, that is easy, it is the liking and many times the person you meet is not the one you thought to be

3 months in and gave up....she is right....endless faces no connection....I am out of it...

I began online dating in 1999. At first it was much better, it was a way of meeting people and as I do not live in a population centre, and was willing to travel a little it was good. I made good friends and did have a relationship that last a few years wonderfully and we even moved in together, that killed it.
Now, many of the ladies that were on the dating sites in the past 10 years are still there. I guess it is the same for the guys. I do not contact women any more on these sites, and they do not contact me, I check about every month or 2 but no-one catches my interest. I see myself as a big part of the problem, my life is pretty good, I would love a loving partner and happy relationship, but I also don't want to risk my happy life again. I am far from celibate so I don't need to find a partner for sex, I do have lady friends for social activities, beach, lunch, country drives, conventions. it would be great to have it all wrapped up in one person, but at my age unlikely. So many women I know feel the same way. I don't think the issue is online dating. I think the issue is people. We have changed, our needs are not the same as they were in the past. I think we are in online dating because the offline world hasn't worked, now we find the online world doesn't work either. I see it would be the same for the lady who wrote the article.

This is a good article and it makes a lot of sense.

It sounds like a lot of the problem is with the members as much as the organizations. When someone notifies me I make an effort to answer in as friendly a way I can. I also screen as much as I can. I have a high set of values and will not budge on some things but am flexible on others. It can be a frustrating medium but that is the way things are today. I joined several dating clubs before I met my late partner and nothing ever came out of it, except some interesting experiences. Funny, I met her through a referral from my brother-in-law and it was a perfect match. This way can work if one has a friends/relations that are willing to help (be sort of match makers).

BTW Ours was a long distance relationship. We spent 2 months on the phone before meeting and then another 8 months seeing each other only occasionally. A strong base was established and the fickle chemistry thing did not intrude. I think that is still the best and often tell that to potential dates. I seem to be the only one who subscribes to this. All the others want to meet as fast as possible.

I tried it for about a year. Then gave up on it.

It's a superficial shit show. Expect that going in, and you won't be disappointed.

Tried it for a short while. It seemed most of the women who were near my age and I may have been interested in, were Christians, and were looking for someone younger. No thanks. And the one's who were interested in me didn't seem to have paid any attention to my profile and my preferences. Two or three ladies with whom I had, what seemed to me, nice phone conversations, or message exchanges, always had some event looming which would put them out of reach for a period of time; then they would never get back to me, even though l had made the initial overture, or had responded very positively. Ah, well, it was a brief adventure.

But you’re on here looking.