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Do women enjoy sex as much as men? Does it depend on who they're having sex with?

Movies always show these guys lasting like 5 seconds as comedy. Are most guys selfish in bed? Generally speaking, do guys have a higher sex drive than women? Most guys probably won't turn down a chance for sex, but on TV you always see the guy sleeping on the couch as punishment. Do you think some women fear men although they enjoy sex?

Atheistman 6 Feb 19
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29 comments (26 - 29)

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Yes, and yes.

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If a man does it right, then a woman will most likely have more pleasure and enjoyment than a man.

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I will say as a man that it certainly appears to me that women don't find sex to be much of a priority. But that's just my very limited experience pool. I seem to have unconsciously selected for women with intimacy avoidance issues.

I had some great sexual experiences with my second wife for instance, because when I married her, she was at her sexual peak, and the illness that she eventually died of hadn't overtaken her yet. But you could take it to the bank that if we had any sort of meaningful intimacy, whether it involved sex or not, sometime within 48 hours she would do some self-sabotage and pick some kind of ridiculous fight usually involving reading into some innocuous thing I (failed to) do that shows I didn't REALLY care about her. In other words it was as if a caring, loving attentiveness to her having a good experience violated some core beliefs about herself; by inviting her to trust, it would scare her. And sure enough ... her father, who she worshipped, had abandoned her and her mother when she was a child. So any man she feels close to might do the same thing. And she was emotionally childish around this issue.

It is this emotional complexity that I think frustrates men. We are simple creatures, we just want to enjoy the sexual aspect of the relationship and have our partner show the mutuality of that enjoyment by responding to our advances, and what we often get instead pretty much regardless of the sensitivity and effort we invest is all this hedging and suspicion, or, sometimes, we get dutiful wooden compliance with little reciprocity. Also women know the power they have to wound us, and in my experience and observation they are more than willing to use it. This does not exactly encourage openness, trust, and vulnerability from men, who are ALREADY disinclined to be open / vulnerable / emotional because of the way we're raised / socialized.

Sure many men are pigs, or ignorant, or both. But I am neither, and was willing to invest deeply in my partners, and they were not so invested or willing. And I can only go by my own experience. It took my whole adult life to get there, but I am now indifferent about sex too. It's just another overrated aspect of the romance industry.

I think my conclusion on the matter is that at least here in America we are so sexually repressed, patriarchal, inhibited and just generally fucked up, that it's amazing we keep coming back for more.

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Slow... I was not going to comment because always found that type of question... in the stupid side and unable to be resolved. A nymphomaniac will beat the horniest man in the world anytime. The fact that women reach their peak in their 40's and men at 18? ...let's say 20's but there is a reason why let's say 20's and not 18. Why it takes that long to women to understand their body? I admit the escapades me and my before to be wife did were for the record and we chased personal bests many times, even after marriage and kids. So I had to say You will Peak at the Moment you meet your match. I realized she was the lab room and experiment partner to extent and expand things for me and me for her. If you ask her... she will tell you she didn't peaked at her 40's. You Peak when the opportunity via a willing partner is there. Forget what you see in TV. That is not Real Bro! A woman that peak at her 40's is because she didn't have a man or woman before to bring it out of her earlier. I know... I had seen it myself. Not on TV.

@TjallTjallOUTLK a nympho needs no mood... she is 24/7 on the mood. But issue and the lie about women is their peak at 40's but is more about the realization of what they could had been getting instead of what they got. Me and the lady I mentioned we went on binges of 24 hours some time... we did motel runs of 4, 6, 8, 12 hours. And we brought it up to friends and they were like you two are Sick. I was 24, she was 20. We were nothing but rabbits. We will go out dancing and I will ask her to dance and she will look at me and tell me I don't want to dance... I know what she wanted. The body language the standing next to me and make guttural sounds. She peaked and we both knew it. There was another lady in my life... talking about the art of seduction... she wore no underwear. her smell caused a reaction on me... it was animal instinct. Female enjoy as much, no doubt. Not all men or women are born equal, created equal or behave equal. Sex and lovemaking is no different than math... you got to know the formula and apply the tables. And once you know... you never forget. Maybe that is why me and my ex will never get to bed again. We know what we can do with each other. For the men... you never stop learning and evolving... for the ladies there is always a lot more than you think... you don't peak at 40, you discovered at 40 there was a lot you were simply missing out.

@TjallTjallOUTLK And the whole thing is there are more woman discovering what they are that there are men... I never asked a woman at what time they started masturbating? I found it very personal and private but boys, us men start pretty early and we are masters by the time we are 18 for sure. I remember "wet dreams" in junior high. Another mystery of nature because I remember girls in junior high developing boobies and starting dating older boys because we were more interested on playing sports than girls and once we got a GF she will control your ass like her mother control her father. We preferred masturbation better I guess. Nature being nature. And men protecting themselves from the future coming to us.

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